The Climate Commie Cash Cow Finally Moos

The hysterical global warming ninnies, a.k.a. the Climate Commies, have been sneaking around behind the Mahmoud Ahmadinejad free speech news this week. The UN arm of the movement met at the beginning of the week to once again proclaim that "the time for doubt is over." When you have the kind of publicity machine they do you don't have to resort to any hyper-intellectual means of getting your message out. You simply say the same thing over and over again until the masses begin nodding in unison. It's the reason that the first thing dictators do is seize control of the media outlets. The Eco-Stalins have learned their lesson well. "No doubt" and "consensus" are the first English words that incoming UN diplomats are taught.

There is perhaps no greater proof of the power of this media machine than one Dr. James Hansen. For those readers unfamiliar with the good doctor, he's the guy whose hand is shoved where the sun doesn't shine, running the Al Gore puppet. Of course, if you haven't heard of Hansen it's simply because you haven't been reading much about global warming.

Dr. Hansen's purported claim to fame is that he's a brave whistle blower who the Bush administration tried to muzzle. I just did a quickie search of the New York Times archives and found that Hansen has been quoted there quite often for at least the past six years. (I would have looked back in time a little more but I wanted to finish this before Canada melted and flooded my bathroom.) Apparently, Dr. Hansen has very large teeth and managed to chew right through his alleged muzzle.

He's in the papers. He's on Good Morning America. He's in more places than Lindsay Lohan's panties. The all-powerful Executive branch of the United States government supposedly wants him to shut up but he's almost a media hype reality show unto himself. Don't believe me? Google the guy. You'll get over two million pages of results returned! It's OK Climate Commies, Googling is low on the greenhouse gas emissions totem pole.

There's big money in being the brains inside of Al Gore's ever-expanding head. A recent article in Investor's Business Daily reveals a none-too-surprising source of a lot of that money. Whenever a load of irresponsible, oppressive hype is coming from the Left, all one has to do is follow the stench. And all stinky, far left roads lead straight to, you guessed it, George Soros. This guy has more ways of dispensing money to the lunatic fringe than Bill Clinton's security detail has of dispensing condoms.

There's a phenomenon where, upon release from prison, former inmates become uncomfortable with freedom and begin longing for the familiarity of incarceration. Soros fled from Soviet occupation of his homeland to come to the U.S. Now he wants to take our guns, he spits on the U.S. military and, through the Climate Commies, seeks to silence all dissent. It's as if he's trying to impose here the Soviet tactics he left behind.

Aw, somebody's homesick and needs a hug.

IBD is running a series about the very real threat Soros' various political groups pose to democracy. It's his people who are actually seeking to do the muzzling. Be real loud with your vote and don't give them the chance.

Mahmoud '08-The Democrats' New Star!

As I sit here listening to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad prattle on at the United Nations a couple of thoughts come to mind immediately.

First: if the the UN is sitting around listening to their dictator du jour, they can't be busy trying to enact a new global communism to curb greenhouse gases. There is a small measure of comfort to be taken in that.

Second: I've always been under the impression that Ahmadinejad is a fascist Islamic dictator. Now that I've spent a few minutes listening to his talking points I fear that I may have to admit that I was wrong. He talks about not finding WMD in Iraq, a gap between the rich and poor, the need for the U.S. to immediately withdraw its troops from Iraq. Throw in a discourse about an "arms race", the U.S. being "occupiers" and flexing its muscle too much around the world and it becomes obvious that he's a Democrat!

Also, I swear I've seen that same outfit on Hillary Clinton.

He's even talking about God, which has become all the rage with the Democratic front runners in recent months.

Ahmadinejad's hostility towards Israel and sympathy for the Palestinians puts him in sync with one of the Democrats' most revered elder statesmen, Jimmy Carter.

As soon as the speech is done, find a copy of it online. Read it and you'll have a heads up on the finished platform that will be hammered out at the Democratic convention next year.

I absolutely shudder to think of the amount of drool over at the Democratic National Committee while they're listening to Ahmadinejad calling for a "Coalition for Peace." They've finally found a world leader who understands them. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the message they wished John Kerry could have gotten out in 2004. It certainly sounds like a coalescing of all the Dems hold dear, anyway (Maybe they should have sent a translator on the road with Kerry). The guy is one Al Gore hug and Sean Penn lunch away from marginalizing Barack Obama.

Gosh, free speech is a hoot when it brings such clarity, isn't it?

How Low Can You Go?

So, Jesse Jackson thinks that Barack Obama is acting like he's white. Come to think of it, the more Obama talks politics, the more I see a resemblance to Karl Marx. Maybe Jesse's on to something. Maybe we're both drunk. Either way, it's another low point for the increasingly irrelevant Rev. Jackson.

The low that caught my eye today, however, was the new Reuters/Zogby poll of presidential and congressional approval ratings. The Bush vs. Congress approval battle is turning out to be like one of those football games that matches two 0-10 teams at the end of the season. Someone has to win, right? Alas, politics is never as clear cut as football. It would be nice to see some elected officials get concussions once in a while though. Any kind of non life-threatening, season-ending injury would do, actually.

The current score in this stinker is: Bush 29-Congress 11. That's a statistical difference so stark even a victim of recent public education in America can see it. The president, tanking to a new all-time low, still manages to more than double up on Nancy Pelosi and her "mandate." Most of that 11% is probably made up of just congressional members themselves, their extended families and their staffs.

When it comes to running the country, Americans are telling Congress, "Just don't touch anything, you'll probably break it. Go play with each other and leave us alone." Of course, metaphorically, Congress has been playing with itself for a long time.

To their credit, Democratic leaders Nancy Pelosi (D-USSR) and Harry Reid (D-Crab Nebula) have committed the full force of their resources to making sure the president doesn't pull "ahead" of them in this race to the bottom. If they drop just two more points they'll be in a dead heat with the remaining number of live brain cells in Ted Kennedy's (D-Corner Tavern) head. They know this and they're focused.

"We're not going to let you Republicans hijack this one from us," Reid was overheard saying to Larry Craig (R-Disgrace) in a congressional men's room last summer. Since then, Reid has maintained relentless pressure on sanity and common sense to achieve the historic lows.

Hey, sinking to the bottom wasn't in any of their campaign promises last fall but a lot of us knew they had it in them.

Leaving the Left Behind

The week is barely starting and already we have some feel-good stories: Barry Manilow has decided to stay off of national TV for a day and some idiot got hit with a Taser for thinking that First Amendment rights applied only to him. Add in the idiotic greenhouse gas lawsuit that got tossed out by one of the few remaining sane judges in America and it's got the makings of a great couple of days. The only thing that could make it better would be Hillary Clinton announcing that she had been recalled to the Mother Ship and would be returning to her home planet.

Would that these incidents were unusual or isolated. Look around though, the American Left is absolutely polluted with idiotic ideas and an army of wing nuts as its standard bearers. This country desperately needs more than one relevant political party. The Democrats have gained a little momentum recently with their "We Hate George W. Bush" platform but that's going away next year. Then you're left with exactly what's been seen this week: liberals who won't breathe the same air as someone with an opposing viewpoint, liberals who think not shutting up is "debating" and liberals who want to sue car companies for manufacturing-get this-cars.

Pundits keep talking about finding a G.O.P. candidate who can energize the base. How about just taking a quick, critical look at what the modern Democratic party has become? The silencing of dissent through any means and enviro-communism aren't fringe ideas over there, this current group is fueled by these things. It should be enough to make you run screaming to whomever is left standing on the Republican side of the aisle, even if he looks like Rudy Giuliani. Heck, I'd vote for an inflatable Nixon doll over any of the Democrats.

The Republican base had better start paying attention to what the 21st Century Dems are really up to and energize themselves. Consider this: Hillary Clinton is the most human face they've been able to put on their message so far. Has the word "Yikes!" ever been more apropos? Just today Mrs. Clinton said she envisioned a day when one would have to show proof of health insurance before getting a job. Words like these come out of Democrats' mouths all the time and they make sense to them!

I envision a Democrat giving an acceptance speech in the not-too-distant future that sounds a little like this:

"I look forward to the day when an applicant will have to show proof of employment as part of the hiring process. If you don't have a job, you can't get a job. I also support legislation to sue every American citizen for breathing out carbon dioxide. We can't ignore the breathing crisis any longer simply because Republicans, Big Oil and the always dangerous Elisabeth Hasslebeck want you to believe that not breathing is bad. Remember, if a Republican says anything to you, it's really Karl Rove talking. Thank you and may whichever non-denominational deity you believe in bless America."

You think I'm absurd? Spend a couple of days reading the minimal gathering of IQ points over at the DailyKos and I look like the sanest guy in the room. Wow, looks like we just had another "Yikes!" moment.

Vote, people. Before Hillary gets elected and the 9th Circuit Court decides that Republicans shouldn't have any constitutional rights.

And because the last thing this country needs is Bill Clinton hanging around the White House with free time and no real reason to put his pants on.

Deranged Bedfellows

The more that the brain-dead George Soros chimps and bottom-feeders at MoveOn.moron speak, the more I think we should bring back dueling as a gentlemanly way of resolving disputes. Until such time, my loose cannon of a mouth will have to do in lieu of a small caliber pistol. I don't really think any hardcore Lefties have the requisite male anatomy to step up to a face-to-face fight anyway. This is probably the real reason they're so anti-gun.

The Democrats, they of the screeching voices if the temperature goes up half a degree in a decade, are still mostly silent about MoveOn's idiotic ad in the New York Treachery the other day. A bunch of whiny little neo-commies, hiding behind the skirts of the First Amendment, slandered a commanding general during a time of war and faux leaders of the left have nothing to say? Finally, we have proof that the entire Democratic party has become George Soros' bitch.

Thus far, the strongest condemnation has come from Elizabeth "No Tangerines" Edwards, who said, “Someone who’s spent their life in the military doesn’t deserve ‘General Betray Us." Yes, I said that was the "strongest" response. This would have been a perfect time for her husband Fluffy to step up and show off the aforementioned male anatomy but, once again, he leaves the manly chores to Liz whilst he continues his relentless search for the perfect hair products.

I keep checking the news every few minutes as I write this to see if any prominent Dem has said anything against MoveOn yet. Yes, I'm hopelessly optimistic that the DNC will try and steer the party back to America one day. We can all dream, can't we? The silence is deafening. Perhaps they're all getting eco-friendly pedicures for their carbon footprints.

Don't get me wrong: I'm all for free speech. The problem, as I have said on stage for years, is that many people confuse the right to speak freely with an obligation to speak freely. I often wish that the Founding Fathers had included an "Amendment 1A" which said "Citizens may also choose to shut the hell up if they have nothing worthwhile to contribute to the debate."

If I weren't so gleefully partisan, I would almost feel some sympathy for the Democrats' inability to break away from the Soros financial tit at MoveOn. It really is pathetic. The reason for the fear is understandable when you cast a critical eye on the American Left though. They desperately need exorbitant sums of money to win political battles because they're fresh out of ideas. "We want everyone to have free health care and a good education" isn't a political philosophy, it's an Oprah sound byte meant to appeal to voters' emotions rather than their intellects. Why? Because an intellectual examination of the current Democrats' positions reveals the full-on socialism of it all. Like it or not, Barack & Co., we have too many real responsibilities in this world to indulge in Norway-esque socialist experiments. Unfortunately, the real world is hard to see when you have your head in the "Free Health Care For All" clouds.

Sadly, the Republicans have never been quite as adept at throw-down political fighting as the Democrats. Maybe it's time we learned. Have the RNC call me. They bug me for money all the time but what they could actually use are my mouth and the now thrice-mentioned male anatomy that I bring to debates. Sure, I come with a lot of baggage but some of that baggage can be used to hit people over the head during a fight.

There are a lot of hyphens in this blog but no equivocation. The Democratic leadership is spineless in the face of a bunch of treasonous web geeks. One shudders to imagine any of them dealing with a terrorist threat.

One last look at the news before I finish and it's all about OJ. He's in trouble with the police again. He should take out a full page ad in the New York Times proclaiming his innocence. All he has to do is say something bad about President Bush in the ad and he can get a reduced rate!

Everybody relax and enjoy the weekend. I'll stay angry for all of us.

The DNC-Democratic Nut Cases

I was sitting around today trying to figure out just how many head injuries one has to sustain to vote for someone like Harry Reid (D-Mars). Whenever he, Nancy Pelosi or any of the other Democratic brain trust speak, one thought runs through my mind: "They really need to start drug testing on Capitol Hill."

Reid flatly disputed the military assessment of Gen. David Petraeus with the political opinion that the "situation on the ground in Iraq has not changed at all." It would seem sensible to believe the man in the flak jacket over the man in the suit jacket when trying to get a grip on the war. The "Vietnamization" of the modern Democratic party is so thorough, however, that they actually believe wars are best fought by politicians. There's a lesson there in understanding the Democrats. You see, they think that the Vietnam War turned out well. Once you wrap your head around that you'll be able to see just how impossible it will be to get any support for the troops from them. Leaving early and watching a bunch of people get slaughtered is what's known as a "solution" over at the DNC.

Barack Obama flashed his lightweight credentials around after the Petraeus report as well. B.O. (his wife calls him "Stinky") says that the troop draw down isn't good enough and, if elected, he would bring all the troops home by the end of 2008. After all, when you're a Democrat nothing says "Commander-in-Chief" like telling the enemy exactly when it can begin killing without any interference. I swear I'm sober as I write this: every time Barack Obama opens his mouth Dennis Kucinich makes more sense to me.

Another little lesson that will help you understand the Dems: the only time they favor a reduction in government interference is when the government has a gun and is fighting for the United States. If they could tax al Qaeda to death they would be more than happy but fighting a lethal enemy with lethal force seems kind of goofy to the Democrats. If someone bombs you don't shoot at him, create an after school program for the guy already!

The easiest way to ignore any reports of progress is to get back to arguing about whether we should have gone in at all. If this group was fighting a forest fire they'd stand around debating the origin of the fire while it raged on. We're there and we need to deal with it. FYI-running away from a problem and hoping it will get better isn't dealing with it.

The flaw in what Gen. Petraeus reported was its optimism. Democrats hate optimism. If the message doesn't scare the crap out of the public they want no part of it. ("The Republicans want to take your Social Security!" "You're going to die because you can't get access to a doctor!" "The North Pole just melted-Santa's dead!" "Michael Moore is in your refrigerator!") Seriously, is Harry Reid's face one that even looks like it wants to smile? But if you show up to a congressional hearing wearing a t-shirt that says "America Sucks and It's All Our Fault" the Dems will be more thrilled than a school girl who grows boobs the night before prom.

It's up to the Republicans now to do everything we can to make Harry Reid's dream of permanent misery come true.

Just for him though.

Surging Dread For The Dems & A Weekly Review

A perusal of this past political week, as processed by my non-linear brain.

As I watched the first NFL game of the season last night I thought about strategy, leadership and Nancy Pelosi (told you it was non-linear up in here!). At the end of the first half, the team with the superior firepower (the Colts) was tied up with a team that wasn't as good but formidable in their own way. Under the Pelosi/Reid/Schumer strategy, the logical move for the Colts would have been to wring their hands at halftime, whine "This isn't easy!" and not take the field for the second half. For you non-football fans, the Colts stayed the course and handily achieved all of their goals by the end of the game.

If Rudy Giuliani had been coaching the Colts he would have spent all of halftime talking about his eight years as a head coach in New York and not mentioning any real strategy for the second half.

Medical miracle of the week: Chuck Schumer's ability to speak is completely disconnected from his brain!

Clinton donor/felon Norman Hsu showed up in a Colorado hospital after being on the run this week. All hospital officials would say about his condition was that he was "delirious." I say that about everyone who writes Hillary a check, it's nice to see doctors classifying it as a medical condition. If we work together we can find a cure!

I've had a rough couple of years but I am extremely grateful for the fact that I haven't ever had to explain my "stance" on public restrooms.

Fred Thompson and John McCain give the Republicans two real men running while the Democrats are still stuck with just Hillary.

A new contest by the Clinton campaign is offering the winner lunch with Hillary. To spice up the offer, Bill sent a note to supporters saying "I hear you might be having lunch with Hillary — do you mind if I drop in?" He then goes on to say "It would be really cool if we could do it at Hooters," as he has an office there.

A short week gets a short review. Next week we'll have the Petraeus report, Fred's first full week and new video of Mitt Romney and Barack Obama suit shopping at the Elite Guy mall.

The Toast Whisperers

Here's an easy way to know exactly when Gen. David Petraeus is giving his report: you'll see the Democratic leadership running around with their hands over their ears and saying "Blah, blah, blah," over and over again. You see kids, in the modern Democratic party the last thing anyone wants to hear is news of American military success, large or small.

When they were confident that Gen. Petraeus wouldn't have anything good to say about the surge, Democratic leaders were just fine with waiting until his report came out to make decisions about funding. Now that the news will probably be much better than expected they are falling all over themselves to discredit the whatever he says. Dick Durbin, Harry Reid and Madame Speaker have all referred to Petraeus' pending testimony as "The Bush Report" in an effort to discredit it. Clever, isn't it? "We'll just tell everyone that he's only going to say what the president wants him to say." I'm sure there was a lot of "tee-heeing" around the room after this genius approach was thought up. It's the political equivalent of saying "I know you are but what am I?" in a playground fight.

I'm not sure what it is that drives this pathological fear of American success amongst so many people sworn to uphold the Constitution. Maybe mere proximity to Teddy Kennedy has gotten them all too drunk to function. Maybe they think they're supposed to uphold the Cuban constitution. I don't get it.

The Nancy & Harry Circus of American Failure possesses the inability to understand that military personnel don't conduct themselves the same way politicians do. In fact, none of us conduct ourselves that way but they keep projecting their motives onto us. It's inconceivable to Granny Nancy the the General would be more worried about the lives of his troops than his reputation with the public because that's how she rolls.

There's also the chance that having a Speaker of the House from the Bay Area may have introduced psychedelic drugs into the legislative process. That's about the only thing I've come up with so far that explains Harry Reid's comments or Chuck Schumer's popularity with anyone who is awake. I'm not going to reveal any firsthand experience here but let's just say that there are drugs out there that can make you think you're saving the world when all you are really doing is forgetting to go to the bathroom.

Let them whisper and spin, it's about all they have going for them. Besides, the American people are now doing the one thing this group of Dems most fears: paying attention.