By the time Friday came I was worn out by the endless election cycle and thought that I might just lay off of national politics for the day.
Then Chuck Schumer opened his mouth. OK, I'm not sure that his mouth is ever closed but sometimes it makes more noise than at others. In fact, I think the climate commies might want to start looking at a correlation between rising temperatures and Schumer press conferences. They like to point to 1998 as being one of the hottest years in the last 1000. Guess who was running around campaigning for his first Senate term all that year? As Al Gore would say, "The debate is over."
This week's petulant offering from the perpetually aggrieved Schumer had to do with judicial nominees. Whining like a spurned sorority girl, Schumer said that he and his colleagues were "duped" by the charm of John Roberts and the erudition of Samuel Alito during the confirmation process. "Why, those sweet talkin' smarty pants boys just had me all atwitter and I simply couldn't think straight!" Terrified of falling prey to personality and intelligence again, Chucky has threatened to block any future nominees President Bush might put forth. (Quick aside: when Bill Clinton was in office Schumer couldn't shut up about Republicans allegedly stonewalling judicial nominees. Chucky is so two-faced on this that one could stand on either side of him and look him directly in the eyes.)
You might ask yourself, "What prompted the good Senator to address this now? Did I miss some news about a retiring Supreme Court justice while suffering from tangerine withdrawal?" No. What happened was that Senator Windbag realized he hadn't gotten any quality face time for a while. The U.S. Senate is the largest collection of egos outside of Hollywood and Charles Schumer's arrival there brought the Mother of all Egos to the dance. He had upset an incumbent and, full of himself, began to revel in all the camera-humping opportunities offered to a senator.
Tragedy befell Sen. Schumer two short years later when a fetching little lass by the name of Hillary Clinton was elected to his playpen. The effects of this were twofold: Schumer was now technically the senior senator from New York but, to the rest of the world, he was the other senator from New York.
And he's been acting out ever since.
Those of us who don't agree with Schumer's politics can help ensure that he continues to wander through this political purgatory by keeping Hillary Clinton in the Senate. Those of you who do agree with, and care about, him should help the poor guy by not returning him to office.
Whoa, I need to rest. I ate about a pound of tangerines awhile ago and I'm crashing off the sugar rush.
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