Stephen Kruiser: The Mouth Of America

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

The Big People's Table

I'm just watching Hillary in her latest Chairman Mao-with-an-upholstery-pattern jacket give her victory speech. Her victory, she tells us, is really one for the people stupid enough to buy adjustable rate mortgages. Yep, that's where she went first.

Ah, the Democrats are back.

Is it a dangerous world out there that requires us to have a strong Commander-in-Chief? It is if you're house shopping armed with nothing more than public school math skills, according to the Democrats.

Did terrorism rate a mention in The Madame's top five? Nope. The mortgage bailout was followed by Evil Oil, Evil Insurance, Evil Pharmaceuticals and "predatory" college loan people. The victims of the above were assured that they weren't invisible to Mrs. C. At that, I brought up a little bit of my dinner and shut her off.

At least she didn't invoke the horror of climate change right away. The Clinton dislike for Al Gore still trumps all.

The Madame's talking points are yet another perfect illustration of why we shouldn't let a Democrat get close enough to the White House to even take pictures of it any time soon. They continue to look inward for all of America's enemies. Al Qaeda's got nothing on Exxon, MetLife and Merck as far as the Democrats are concerned.

On the Republican side, the guy with the most to bring to the table as a Commander-in-Chief began his comeback. While the Democrats were planning a protracted war against American businesspeople John McCain was promising to pursue Osama bin Laden "to the gates of hell" if he had to. While other conservatives want to focus on a few issues that McCain's gotten weird about I prefer to focus on the fact that he's always known who the bad guys are and what we should do about them. He's not going to waste a lot of time and taxpayer money trying to open a can of whoop-ass on the CEO of an American oil company. I'm not old fashioned about too many things but I do like the thought of a war hero being in charge during a war.

Yeah, I like Fred Thompson too, but he finished behind "Other" in New Hampshire. I know that Fred didn't spend a lot of time or money in the state but I don't think "Other" did either. There may be some magic out there yet but banking on that seems about as sensible as saying that you're contributing to your 401k every time you buy a lottery ticket.

There's a lot of campaigning left but I am very glad that New Hampshire helped the GOP to begin moving away from its Huckafetish. Let's hope that Chuckles had his one moment in the frozen corn fields last week and is about to fade like the smile on Hillary's face whenever the cameras are turned off.

Tonight was also a reminder of how much fun politics is when it doesn't play out the way everyone has planned for so long. Surprises are always a blast in this age of incessant polling. Less than a week ago the media was agog over St. Obama of Nothing and King Gomer the Second. We heard the word "change" so often that I thought everyone had been dropped into a baby nursery full of poopy diapers. Now we have competition and choices again.

It's nice that the primary season will be relevant at least into the middle of January.

And I suppose we can all sleep better now knowing that Hillary Clinton is on the watch for any predators who are trying to send kids to college.

Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell