Envirodork of the Day: Ban Ki-moon

It's become a morning ritual of mine: read the news and immediately find another good reason to turn the UN property into a golf course. The last secretary-general used his office space to run a black market scheme with a fascist dictator. Naturally, the Democrats loved him. The current head man over at the hostile occupation site is a simpler sort, he's merely running a scheme of hypocrisy from his private jet.

As the political arm of Al Gore's progressive mental disease, the UN is committed to bringing communism to the United States so Gore can be installed as Head Fat Guy For Life. It uses a squad of debate squashing, common sense assassins called the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. Right now the IPCC's flying monkeys are meeting to determine exactly what it can do to kick the U.S. economy in the groin. This is accomplished by screaming "Consensus!" and "For the children!" incessantly until policy makers cave in from pure exhaustion.

Apparently, no one has found a way to translate "lead by example" into all the languages spoken at the UN. Ban Ki-moon, fresh from calling for immediate action on climate change, has decided to show his commitment to the cause by flying everywhere but the moons of Jupiter.

Remember, he's the S-G of the United Nations so he doesn't have a real job and isn't truly needed anywhere but at home. Still, he's found a reason to head to East Timor, Japan and New York all in a few days. The juiciest, carbon spewing part of this trip comes on the Tokyo to New York leg where the Banster is flying the wrong way around the world to add even more miles to the fun!

The UN says it will offset the trip by contributing to different environmental causes, which, far from exonerating Mr. B K-m, cements the green hypocrisy. If man-made carbon emissions really were a threat to our very survival do you think the fear-mongers would relax about an egregious carbon output like this just because the Sierra Club got a few extra bucks? That's like getting shot five times and saying that you'll be fine as long as your assailant donates to a hospital charity.

Congratulations Mr. Ban Ki-moon for being today's recipient of the ANM Envirodork Medal of Dishonor. You're the first to receive the redesigned medal! It features a breathtaking view of the earth and a cow farting out Al Gore's head. Enjoy.

I'll let the readers decide whether you're a prophet of change, a planet killing bastard or a full of crap hypocrite.

Cross posted at Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!)

UN A Hazard To Our Children

This just in from the U.S. Dept. of Duh!: The United Nations is hazardous to our children.

OK-it was actually Mayor Mike Bloomberg (I-Hissy Fit) who said it here and he was talking about the building itself but any launching point for a discussion about getting rid of the UN is good for me. Truthfully, you could ask me what I had for breakfast and I could turn it into a discussion about why I can't stand the U.S.-hating, foot-stomping do-nothings (I'm excessively hyphenated today, aren't I?) at the UN.

Imagine forming a group in your neighborhood the purports to foster good relations between members. Now imagine the group building its meeting place in your back yard after you agree to pay for most of it and inviting people over to insult you. No sober person with an IQ higher than the teens would sign up for such a group, right?

The idea that all the nations of the world should hang out and get along is wonderful. So is the idea that I should be able to date Jessica Biel. Neither, however, is likely to happen soon.

The UN Charter is full of noble ideals about peace, human rights and putting an end to war. (It completely avoids the subject of me hooking up with Jess which, I'll admit, kind of pisses me off.) It seeks to make a better world through a supranational governing body. Basically, it's the Democrats on steroids. "We don't have to change personally but we can let the UN make the world a place full of pretty flowers and puppies."

Much like the 2007 New Orleans Saints, the UN looked good on paper but hasn't lived up to any of its potential. When not overseeing the "Dictator-Psycopath Hosting Program" the United Nations busies itself with other important things, like trying to take over the world rather than help it get along.

Through its Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), the UN constantly adds to the shrill, unbalanced climate hysteria. The panel gathers scientists and ill defined experts which then meet up Al Gore's butt to examine computer predictions about what might happen. It then highlights the most extreme predictions, ignores any dissenting voices and screams "Consensus!" A report is quickly issued with much fanfare that tells you you're going to drown next Thursday unless you let a new brand of communism hijack the economy. Next year, the IPCC hopes to branch out into horoscopes and Tarot readings.

Even scarier is the Law of the Sea Treaty, or, L.O.S.T., which is probably the most fitting acronym of all time. This treaty would turn over sovereignty of the majority of the world's oceans to the UN. I don't know if you've looked at a globe recently but there's a whole lotta water out there. Under this treaty, the UN would arbitrate territorial disputes. That's a winner. Because fairness to the United States' point of view is really what the United Nations is all about, right? Sure, and Nicole Richey is going to finish all her lunch tomorrow. If you're an American who wants Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Vladimir Putin having a say in what's best for you then L.O.S.T. is your kind of treaty.

Now, with proof that the building itself isn't safe we can finally use the favorite argument of liberals to justify getting rid of it: let's do it for the children.

The United Nations has had well over half a century to try and carry out its charter. Its biggest success to date has been getting into bed with Saddam Hussein for a black market oil trading scheme. That it did quite well, I must admit. It bodes well for them getting into black market carbon credit trading once the Climate Commies succeed in ruining the U.S. economy.

Sadly, we still have wars and people are still mean to each other. Turning the UN into a modern day Death Star isn't going to change all that.

For the first time in months, I agree with Mike Bloomberg. The UN is hazardous but for far greater reasons than he outlined.

Cross posted at Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!)

The Kruiser Climate Manifesto-Part I

Sitting here in LA, breathing all the smoky air, I promised myself this morning that I'd avoid writing about the Climate Commies today. It's difficult, as global warming is my favorite battleground these days and it's come up ad nauseam during the news coverage of the fires this week. As soon as I decided this I started reading another Halloween scare report from the United Nations. Few things this side of Harry Reid annoy me more than the UN dispensing reports about how we're all going to die next Thursday if Al Gore isn't crowned Intergalactic Ruler at once. They get me so worked up I write really long sentences like that.

My first response, as always, is that we could start helping the environment by getting rid of the UN and putting a lovely park in its place.

I've gotten into a few discussions on climate change this week and watched more than a few during the wildfire coverage and noticed that some of the same crap keeps coming up from the Left. What I'm going to do here, and it might take a post in two or three parts, is stake out my territory in this debate and simply refer people to it later when they challenge me with wild-eyed fervor. My hope is that pausing and reading something will take everything down a notch and foster some reasonable debate. I know I'm crazy, but we'll let my therapist worry about that.

I feel so strongly about this that I am going to use bullet points. I don't trot out the BPs unless I'm feeling very formal. I probably should drink some tea and do something special with my pinkies. More on that later. Here are the first of the points I would like to make:

• Nobody denies that climate changes. Whenever I express skepticism about the Climate Commie Party line on climate change the first question I'm invariably asked is, "So you don't believe in Global Warming?" And it's always asked in a jump-down-your-throat, "nanny-nanny boo-boo" kind of way, as if they can't wait to bury me with quotes from Al Gore. It's been a whole 24 hours since someone last asked me that. I heard Alan Colmes ask it while interviewing a scientist from the CATO Institute last night. The one thing I've never heard, however, is someone saying "I don't believe in Global Warming" before being asked the question. What I don't believe in is hysteria. Or speculation (computer models) regarded as absolute fact. What is still up for debate is the level of human contribution to the greenhouse gas problem. It's up for debate unless you're Al Gore or one of his followers. These people take a more Stalin-esque approach to debate and simply tell everyone that there will be none. That's what I don't believe in.
  
• Hysteria based on speculation is ridiculous. What usually gets reported are think-tank and computer model projections about the fate of the planet that are worse-case scenarios. Why? Because the Climate Commies feel that's the best way to get everyone's attention. Don't believe me? Here's a quote from St. Al Gore in Grist magazine: "Nobody is interested in solutions if they don't think there's a problem. Given that starting point, I believe it is appropriate to have an over-representation of factual presentations on how dangerous it is, as a predicate for opening up the audience to listen to what the solutions are, and how hopeful it is that we are going to solve this crisis." (Italics mine) Let me get this straight: it's OK to lie if they end up listening and on your side. Is this an environmental debate or a "How-To" primer for frat boys to get laid? You want to get my attention? Present all of the facts and get a spokesperson who isn't unhinged. People who are more insane than I am make me nervous.
• International communism isn't going to save the planet. You almost have to admire the capacity for denial on the Left. No matter how many times they see socialism or communism fail and capitalism work they just close their eyes, plug their ears and hum until the free-market bogeyman goes away. Their solution to mitigate climate concerns isn't to let free enterprise work more of its magic but to enforce a set of international protocols that wouldn't do more than screw up the US economy. Then they get into this weird "carbon credit" trading thing that sounds more like the Catholic church in the days of Martin Luther than 21st Century business. The companies that invested in economically ruinous eco-friendly technologies could sell their credits to the evil polluters and feel better. Then after lying to their stockholders they could buy some plenary indulgences from the Cardinal and-oh wait-we're back to the 1500s again. At least we know they won't be burning any witches. The smoke would be bad for the environment.
  
• Somebody needs to talk about the cow farts. Why? Because they are the biggest contributors of methane gas on the planet. And because it would be fun to see "cow fart" on the front page of the New York Times.
  

Enough for today. You've all been very patient. The nurse is here and telling me that my "outside time" is done for the day.

Cross posted on Grizzly Groundswell