The Big People's Table

I'm just watching Hillary in her latest Chairman Mao-with-an-upholstery-pattern jacket give her victory speech. Her victory, she tells us, is really one for the people stupid enough to buy adjustable rate mortgages. Yep, that's where she went first.

Ah, the Democrats are back.

Is it a dangerous world out there that requires us to have a strong Commander-in-Chief? It is if you're house shopping armed with nothing more than public school math skills, according to the Democrats.

Did terrorism rate a mention in The Madame's top five? Nope. The mortgage bailout was followed by Evil Oil, Evil Insurance, Evil Pharmaceuticals and "predatory" college loan people. The victims of the above were assured that they weren't invisible to Mrs. C. At that, I brought up a little bit of my dinner and shut her off.

At least she didn't invoke the horror of climate change right away. The Clinton dislike for Al Gore still trumps all.

The Madame's talking points are yet another perfect illustration of why we shouldn't let a Democrat get close enough to the White House to even take pictures of it any time soon. They continue to look inward for all of America's enemies. Al Qaeda's got nothing on Exxon, MetLife and Merck as far as the Democrats are concerned.

On the Republican side, the guy with the most to bring to the table as a Commander-in-Chief began his comeback. While the Democrats were planning a protracted war against American businesspeople John McCain was promising to pursue Osama bin Laden "to the gates of hell" if he had to. While other conservatives want to focus on a few issues that McCain's gotten weird about I prefer to focus on the fact that he's always known who the bad guys are and what we should do about them. He's not going to waste a lot of time and taxpayer money trying to open a can of whoop-ass on the CEO of an American oil company. I'm not old fashioned about too many things but I do like the thought of a war hero being in charge during a war.

Yeah, I like Fred Thompson too, but he finished behind "Other" in New Hampshire. I know that Fred didn't spend a lot of time or money in the state but I don't think "Other" did either. There may be some magic out there yet but banking on that seems about as sensible as saying that you're contributing to your 401k every time you buy a lottery ticket.

There's a lot of campaigning left but I am very glad that New Hampshire helped the GOP to begin moving away from its Huckafetish. Let's hope that Chuckles had his one moment in the frozen corn fields last week and is about to fade like the smile on Hillary's face whenever the cameras are turned off.

Tonight was also a reminder of how much fun politics is when it doesn't play out the way everyone has planned for so long. Surprises are always a blast in this age of incessant polling. Less than a week ago the media was agog over St. Obama of Nothing and King Gomer the Second. We heard the word "change" so often that I thought everyone had been dropped into a baby nursery full of poopy diapers. Now we have competition and choices again.

It's nice that the primary season will be relevant at least into the middle of January.

And I suppose we can all sleep better now knowing that Hillary Clinton is on the watch for any predators who are trying to send kids to college.

Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell

The Ms. and the Mrs.

Arrogant types such as myself aren't fond of admitting we're wrong but it looks like I'm going to have to do just that today. 

The past decade has been filled with unspeakable horrors against women played out on the world stage. From Bill Clinton's permanently meandering libidinal apparatus to Sharia rape laws that punish the victim for having the poor taste to bring her genitalia with her in public, there's been enough going on to keep feminists screaming at the tops of their lungs 24/7. 

From the first "ZIP" heard in Clinton's Oval Office to the war against terrorists who would keep women partying like it's 1599, the silence from American feminists has been overwhelming. Surely those who have dedicated their lives to advancing the cause of women would have something to say about the American military enabling Afghan girls to go to school again or the fact that Saddam Hussein's rape rooms no longer exist. 

Maybe you can understand how the deafening silence led me to believe that feminism was dead. 

I was wrong. 

Today's New York Times has managed to dig up Gloria Steinem and give her a gig on the Opinion page. Ms. Steinem complains that Mrs. Clinton is being judged unfairly because of her sex.

Writing as if she spends her time cryogenically frozen in 1968, Steinem asks "why is the sex barrier not taken as seriously as the racial one?" This during an election where the Democratic front-runners consist of an African American male and two women (Mrs. Clinton and John Edwards). Oh, let's not forget that Barack Obama's most prominent and powerful wealthy supporter is Oprah Winfrey who, by all accounts Gloria, is an African American female. If someone were to get Ms. Steinem an Internet connection or a newspaper subscription she could also find out that the current Speaker of the House can wear women's clothing without being described as a fetishist. 

You see, G, the problem with Hillary Clinton is, well, Hillary Clinton. The almost hourly repackaging of Hillary's message right now reminds me of an old article in The Onion about a guy who keeps blaming his hangovers on everything but consuming too much alcohol. Neither of the Clintons has a real gift for looking inward during times of trouble. It's always the fault of somebody else. 

Hillary wants to present herself as a bold new choice so who does she trot out? Madelyn Albright, Gloria Steinem, Paul Begala and James Carville. They couldn't have looked more old school if they'd brought FDR in riding on a mastodon. Voters see this sham for what it is and act accordingly, which is what the Clintons don't understand. It's not because she's a woman, it's because she is, and always has been, a phony. 

I understand the confusion of long time Clinton supporters right now. The Bill and Hill Show has been jerking this country around and lying to it with great effectiveness for almost two decades. The Republicans never found a way to counter it. Barack Obama has finally found a way by doing something completely foreign to Hillary: he's being genuine. True, he has absolutely nothing to say but at least he's himself while he's not saying it. 

If Ms. Steinem were to take a bold leap into the 21st Century she'd find that much of her hard work paid off. Hillary Clinton is actually being judged on merit. 

That's why the whole thing is falling apart.

Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell and Real Clear Politics (VOTE for it!)

The First Tooth Is Pulled

Our long national nightmare, aka "The Early 2008 Primary Season", finally gets under way with some actual voting tonight. Michelle Malkin, Wake Up America and A Newt One have already done the heavy lifting on the speculation derby leading up to the circuses caucuses. I'll just weigh in with my two cents which isn't worth much after being adjusted for inflation and having the taxes taken out of it. Still, pontificate I must, because it's kind of like breathing for an egomaniacal wingnut like me.

This drawn-out extra year on the campaign has cheapened the political process more than Dennis Kucinich (D-Pluto) and Ron Paul (R-Bong Hit) could do if they bred with each other in a lab and created a hybrid political ass thorn. That we're rewarded with the first votes being cast by fringe representatives of each party in the weird Iowa caucus process makes the pain of the season more unbearable. Don't get me wrong, I firmly believe in everyone participating but having a bunch of frozen subsidy addicts hold sway over the national debate for this long gets annoying after a while. Mitt Romney (R-Coifed) doesn't deserve to be president just because he spent roughly the equivalent to the GNP of Portugal there in the last year. Likewise, Mike Huckabee (R-Shucks Folks) doesn't deserve it simply because the twelve Iowa Republicans who will caucus are willing to overlook his laundry list of negatives and pay attention only to the fact that he's a Baptist preacher. We're not electing Best Guy To Run The Tent Revival Mission.

I will admit that saying "caucus" all the time is fun in an extraordinarily juvenile way. That the Democrats and Republicans each caucus differently makes it creepier. I don't mind that the state gets to have a different way of doing things. I grew up in Arizona, where contrariness was a birthright. However, shouldn't election related matters be the same for each party?

What's really got me to ready find a brick wall that's compatible with my head this year is that Romney and Huckabee are getting all of this attention because of Iowa. Although I'm a big fan of the two party system (they tried having just one in the Soviet Union and that sucked) I truly believe that any of the current Democratic candidates would be a disaster as president at this point in history. The last thing this country needs is a Commander-in-Chief who thinks that a one degree spike in temperature over the last 150 years is more dangerous than rogue nuclear states or Islamic terrorism. The Democratic field is loaded with candidates who are going to end up battling terrorism by crying, "Be nice to me, I drive a hybrid!"

The Republicans have only two serious candidates to handle any of this: Fred Thompson and John McCain. Sorry, Rudy fans, he's a train wreck of scandals that the Dems are just salivating at the prospect of picking apart in the general. So we have two great candidates for the job but we're talking about Slick Mitt and Aw Shucks Huck.

Romney has done a 180 on just about everything but his hairstyle. Somehow, serious conservatives take him at face value but still say McCain, who is solid on all the things Romney's flip-flopped on, isn't conservative enough. I don't believe any candidate who shows up to an election with a whole new set of ideals. I have no reason to believe he won't trade those in once elected. Romney seems like the kind of guy who won't exhale unless the polls say it's popular with the voters. We have another name for poll-driven politicians who shift positions a lot: Democrats.

Social conservatives love Huckabee because he's solid on pro-life issues. Go ahead, vote for him, you won't be able to afford a baby based on his record of taxation as governor. Oh wait, we're not supposed to talk about his record.

Hopefully, the GOP can weather this inane first round of voting and let the big people step to the fore. If not, you can look forward to trying to outrun a terrorist attack while listening to President Obama on the radio in your federally mandated Toyota Prius.

I don't know about you all, but I'm going to use Al Gore as a shield if that ever happens.

Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell and Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!)

Run Along Now, 2007...

Travel, illness and a new Nintendo Wii have kept ANM quiet for a week or so. Little things like that won't get in the way as we move into an election year and expand our horizons. Even if I should find myself alone on a melting glacier with only Al Gore's blubber to use for fuel I promise to deliver.

December 31st is a godsend to anyone who writes about topical things. It provides an opportunity to do a "Year In Review" piece which is much easier than thinking of new stuff. So, with my sore Wii elbow, here I go with the recap.

• An election year shouldn't be longer than a year. We Americans pride ourselves on demonstrating a peaceful transfer of power to the world every four or eight years. It's so peaceful that we've now turned it into a never ending transfer of power. This campaign for a new president began shortly after lunch on Inauguration Day 2005. Well according to The Madame, it began in kindergarten for Barack Obama. Still, just days away from the Iowa caucuses we find ourselves with no clear picture of how it's all going to shake out. So this painfully protracted campaign season did nothing more than keep Ron Paul supporters from downloading too much porn and making the rest of us long for the brevity of a military coup. 
• Al Gore may be a bigger threat to freedom than Osama bin Laden. When I said things like this at the beginning of the year I was being somewhat tongue-in-cheek about them. Unfortunately, events of the year have propelled the Bloated One ever closer to convincing our own lawmakers to hijack the U.S. economy with "cap and trade" schemes. In classic terrorist fashion, he wields power by whipping up as much fear as possible. If Prince Albert the Hysterical has his way, we will have a dysfunctional hybrid ('cause the Eco-Stalins love their hybrids!) socialist economy that will leave us more vulnerable than at any time since the beginning of the Revolutionary War. For once, it's time to go after the messenger. How prevalent has this brainwashing become? While looking for airfares online the other day I was prompted to "Go Green" and purchase a "Terra Pass". Terra Pass is a scam that ranks right up there with psychic hotlines. You give them free money, they pass it on to support crap that can't compete in an open marketplace and you get your hippie conscience eased in return. I think my first bumper sticker of 2008 will be "Terra Pass Can Kiss My Ass". 
• Libertarians seem to only be able to deliver their message via fruitcake. Make no mistake, the Libertarians do have some good ideas. They want to overhaul the tax code, get us out of the UN and nuke the Dept. of Education. It's a system that has a lot of good ideas for domestic problems but turns rather juvenile when applied to international relations ("I'm going to go to my room and lock the door...don't bother me!). For several elections now, the Libertarian star has been Ron Paul, who they've recently dressed up as a Republican. He has developed huge support among younger cyber geeks. This can probably be attributed to the fact that Libertarians are also big on legalizing marijuana. The problem with Paul, like most Libertarian point men from the past, is that he seems like the kind of guy you really wouldn't want to leave alone with any sharp dining utensils. We're over a year into this thing and I'm not sure I've heard him directly answer a question yet. His eyes dart around a lot and he always appears to be listening to the voices in his head for commands from the Mother Ship. Fortunately, a lot of Libertarian support is absent on election day because most of its fans are too stoned to remember to vote. If you simply give a bag of Doritos to a Paul supporter he'll be too distracted to get to the polls.
• We may soon elect our first non-human president. Sorry kids, I'm going to need to see some medical records because I'm still not convinced that Mrs. Clinton is breathing. When I first saw her smile and laugh the monsters from "Alien vs. Predator" seemed like cuddly Disney characters in comparison. What she has proven most adept at since being spawned into the spotlight all those years ago is destroying people who dare interfere with her political ambition. Yet there are people who appear to be very devoted to Her Missusness. I'm sure that their loved ones will be returned to them safely once the election is in hand. 
• The Lynne Spears book on parenting was probably a bad idea. Finally, a family to make the Lohans feel morally superior! Lynne Spears gives a whole new meaning to "getting the girls ready for bed". There is, however, something very old fashioned about Jamie Lynn wanting to have three or four kids before she's old enough to drink. 
• All celebrity plane tickets to visit Hugo Chavez should be one-way. Let Danny Glover, Sean Penn, Oliver Stone and any other celeb who wants to hang with Hugo do it on a permanent basis. They can form an "artists collective", grow their own weed and blame the United States for everything all day long. Oh wait, that's really no different from their lives in LA. Never mind. 
• Oprah needs to hush. She doesn't even pick very good books most of the time and she's responsible for Dr. Phil. Seriously people, let's not let her help pick a president. 
• Even in an off year, being an American still kicks ass. You have to admit, this is still a pretty good gig. We have that rare blend of superpower swagger, affordable beer and and an abundance of convenience stores that make this the place to be. The NFL is still ours too. At least until the New England Patriots suck all the fun out of it. 

Happy New Year everyone. Be safe and, for Heaven's sake, don't let any girls from the Spears family kiss you at midnight.

Pulling Harry's Head Out

Harry Reid (D-George Bush's Fault!) is whining again. Now, his scowling tantrums really aren't any more surprising than finding out one of the Spears sisters is knocked up but there was one little moment in a recent interview that made it appear as if Reid had decided to end the year by thinking for the first time since coming to power. 

In an interview with The Online News Hour Reid kind of/sort of admitted that the surge in Iraq was working. This is significant because Reid has thus far proven himself to be the most fact-resistant politician in America. He's so unfamiliar with the obvious that one can easily imagine him standing at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean and saying "It's not wet at all down here."

Of course, Reid didn't exactly give a ringing endorsement of the surge saying, "it certainly hasn't hurt. It's helped. I recognize that." Then, as if he feared an allergic reaction to saying something positive about the United States Reid went right back into his psychotically disconnected diatribe mode. 

Harry Reid suffers from a vocabulary problem. He seems to understand the words "Senate" and "Majority" in his title but is completely confounded by the word "Leader". If you follow "Leader" with "by example" he gets all kinds of perplexed.

The man has proven adept at nothing more than blaming Republicans for everything. He probably sees a GOP conspiracy when he runs out of toilet paper at home. He spends much of the rest of this interview doing the Democrat Dance of Irony in which be blames Republicans for everything but the Peloponnesian War then says the only way to get things done is in a bipartisan manner. Naturally, "bipartisan" means "Republicans caving into every lunatic socialist idea we have..." in this case. 

Honesty is another hallmark most people like in their leaders. In this interview, Reid flat-out lies about what President Bush thinks about global warming. 

Harry Reid suffers from the same confusion that the other Democratic leaders do in that he confuses "the American People" with "my Democratic supporters".  They speak with an authority about what the American people want while almost half of said people are sitting here screaming "Shut up!"

As with every other interview I've seen with not-so-honest Harry, he seems to keep pulling things out of his ass to support his twisted fantasy of what the American public wants to hear. The only thing he never pulls out of there is his head. 

I don't think that's a very good look for a leader.

Huckenstein

The (insert appropriate adjective here-"meteoric"/"stunning"/"creepy") rise of Mike Huckabee (R-Yuk-Yuk) is playing out like the scene in "Frankenstein" where the newly created monster sends the villagers into a panic. The villagers in this case are represented by GOP voters who actually want to win the general election. 

Everyone expected this to be a wild race for the nomination but the escape of Huckenstein to the top of the polls has voters considering all kinds of doomsday scenarios. 

Tony Blankley writes today about the Republicans heading to a brokered convention now because of the Huckfest. Part two of a brilliant imagining of such a scenario is posted at Rightwing Nuthouse today. Apparently, we were guaranteed having a true front runner emerge from the previous top tier GOP candidates but the sheer randomness of Aw-Shucks Mike's emergence is a harbinger of certain chaos. 

I'm not so sure.

I have hope that a different scenario will emerge now and I have no real reason to believe that it will other than my gut telling me that it could. Bear in mind that I use my gut to pick lottery numbers too and that hasn't worked out so well yet. 

Here's my political Christmas wish. It's obvious that Huckabee is scaring sentient Republican voters. These voters have spent the endless pre-primary season whining about not knowing who to get behind. Bloggers seem to be largely united behind Fred Thompson. Evangelicals are glomming on to Huckabee now. Those with easy access to a bong love Ron Paul. There are, unfortunately, a lot of GOP voters who don't fall into any of those categories and they need to have their heads take a trip out of whatever dark places they've shoved them. If we're lucky, the news of Huckabee's disturbing surge will reach those dark recesses and spur them into action.

A little indecision is OK. Jumping off the side of a tall building in a panic because you can't make up your mind is the kind of thing that gets people like Hillary Clinton elected. It's time for the GOP to unite behind an electable candidate (sorry, Mitt fans) and prove that it can't be hijacked by one fringe wing of the party. 

Let's fire up the torches and go after this monster once and for all.

Because there is a bigger, scarier one waiting in the Democratic shadows after Huckenstein is dispatched. 

Cross posted at Real Clear Politics (VOTE for it!)

She, Robot

Ugh. I arrived in Anchorage on Monday afternoon just in time to see the sun set before 4:00 PM. It's early Tuesday morning now and a balmy one degree. I started to think, "Can anything really be darker and colder than this?" 

Then I remembered, "Oh yeah, she's running for president!"

Her Royal Ruthlessness has decided that she needs to show her softer side. She's bringing a bunch of friends and her mother out on the campaign trail to send a new message to the American people. What exactly is the message? 

"Look everybody, I actually have friends and a mother!"

As a bonus, The Madame had some actual human tears show up on the same day as her friends and mother. Hmm...

It would seem that the Clinton campaign is worried that voters might find John Edwards a more feminine alternative and decided to fight back with tears. 

You know what's  a shame? 

This is the kind of thing that would be perfect for Oprah. 

Nutroots roasting on an open fire...

OK, I need a little palate cleansing after spewing vinegar at Mike Huckabee (R-You Wish) for much of the week. I'm bored with Al Gore and and the hazard he poses to the intellectual environment. Writing about Mitt Romney puts me to sleep almost as quickly as listening to him. I guess it's time to check in with our subversive little irritants over at the Daily Kos. 

Spend five minutes perusing the offerings of the nutroots over at the DK and you can see why both they and rapidly worsening mental diseases are referred to as progressive. You'll witness an orgy of illogic the likes of which the world has never seen. The average Kosmonaut feigns intellectual superiority by proving points based on nonexistent or false premises which are asserted to be facts. Quite a large choir is assembled there and they preach to it. 

A perfect example is this article linked to in a DK "Open Thread". It laments that liberals are "losing the war of ideas" when it comes to illegal immigration. The author posits that those opposed to illegal immigration are merely "anti" immigration, which is patently untrue. When the illegal aspect is finally addressed it gets dismissed with the customary lefty sleight of hand renaming of illegals as "unauthorized" immigrants. That's how it's done with the progressives: start from a false premise ("anti-immigration"), move full throttle into a semantic circle-jerk ("unauthorized") and-Presto!-you're a liberal genius.  Anyone can win an argument when given the option to arbitrarily redefine the position of one's opponent.  

A post titled "Are Democrats letting Republicans define 2008?" shows exactly why the goofy neocommies don't like to let reality muddy up an ideological debate. The problem, according to "UpstateDem", isn't that the Democrats in congress have turned their "mandate" into approval ratings lower than the self esteem of a pimply adolescent who has just wet himself in front of the whole school, it's that the Republicans are mentioning it. I guess when you're used to making it up as you go along a statement of obvious truth can be so different that it's terribly upsetting. 

If that's getting to them I'd hate to be around when they find out carbon trading isn't going to save the planet.  

To summarize:

1) Even when given the opportunity to fabricate all positions in a debate, progressive ideas still can't win.

2) If you get caught sucking at your job, tell everyone the real problem isn't you but the guy who first pointed out the fact that you sucked. 

It's bound to get you a job with Crazy Howard at the Democratic National Committee. 

Cross posted at Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!)

 

News I Can Use

Weary of the Republican party Hucking up its chances next year, I spent the day doing fun Christmas stuff with my kid. I had hoped that by avoiding the news all day I could come back and find that the Huckabee/Romney nightmare I've been having would be gone. Alas, I waited until after midnight to check anything out but the two are still hanging around like STDs at a Tijuana whorehouse, which, coincidentally, is where Bill Clinton is scheduled to appear first if his life partner becomes president.

After whipping through my usual news sites I had one thought: if Huckabee wins those damn caucuses we should seriously think about trading Iowa to the Canadians for some beer. People shouldn't be allowed to have a significant say in choosing the leader of the free world when they're frozen, pissed off and drinking all day to combat Seasonal Affective Disorder. 

Rather than subject myself to any more Huckobamaney fawning from the breathless American media I decided to see what our closest allies across the pond were writing about. I was rewarded almost immediately for my efforts with this headline from the BBC News site:

"Flatulent cow puts wind up locals..."

No, it's not about a Hillary Clinton joke that's being forwarded in emails.

It's just a lot nicer to think about than the title "President" in front of the names Clinton or Obama.  

The Real Republican

The Senate voted today on belching federal funds to bail out all the homeowners who couldn't understand the word "adjustable" when they got their mortgages. I went off on this nanny state "Dollars for Stupidity" program here and Michelle Malkin continues to cover it in detail.

As I said before, if the Kremlin Congress wants pay citizens for poor choices then it owes me more money than even a Charlie Rangel tax hike could raise.

Naturally, the Democrats think the bailout is necessary because the people were somehow tricked into getting the ARMs. I believe it was, oh, let me see, in the post immediately preceding this one where I said that being a liberal means never having to say "It's my fault." I love quoting myself.

For a party that fancies itself intellectually superior the Dems love to claim mass stupidity on the part of its constituency. You remember Florida in 2000, don't you? Al Gore's future hung on claiming that a significant number of his supporters were too stupid to read. Now it's another reading problem, this time an inability to translate the arcane phrase "Adjustable Rate" well enough to even ask what it means.

I'll grant that some voters are a few points shy of a workable IQ-how else can you explain Chuck Schumer's election?

While the rest of the Senate brought their copies of Das Kapital with them to the vote, Arizona's Jon Kyl decided to bring his balls. His was the lone voice of common sense crying out in the pandering wilderness.

For those of you who may not know Kyl, he is the GOP's dream candidate. There isn't a Democrat alive who Kyl couldn't quietly dissect in a debate. Sadly, he's waiting in the wings while the senior senator from Arizona takes his last shot at the White House.

If the congressional Republican elephant wants to keep growing donkey ears on fiscal matters the true GOP voters will have to endure a long, federally funded nuclear winter of ideological and fiscal bankruptcy.

We can only hope that Jon Kyl will still be around to open a can of whoop-ass to help lead us out.

Down In Dem Dumps

By this point Nancy Pelosi (D-Zero Accomplishments) probably wishes she'd spent the year at home watching the weekly fur-thong/bestiality parades in San Francisco. She finishes the year having accomplished nothing more than providing 1-800-FLOWERS greater access to the Speaker of the House of Representatives. 

Today, Grandma Nan is taking it from more angles than a double-jointed porn star. USA Today, normally a reliable sycophantic lap bitch for the Democrats, goes off on their ineffective ways on its Opinion page. The article says that the Democrats are "lost in a time warp". True, they do seem to be acting like it's 1968 when it comes to the war. Maybe they can't get anything done because they're busy looking for their weed. 

On the bright side for Madame Speaker, the article does engage in some knee-jerk Bush bashing like any good post-Soviet Pravda rip-off should. 

Today's Washington Post offers up a little peek at the tiff brewing between House and Senate Democrats. Finally! The Democrats agree that the Democrats are doing a lousy job. Any Democrats in either chamber who continue to exhibit flashes of clarity may want to contact their physicians. 

Speaking of time warps, the MSM loves to work from a calendar that is perpetually six months behind, doesn't it? The USA Today article finally takes Harry Reid (D-Yippee, We're Losing!) to task for constantly ignoring any good news out of Iraq. Bloggers on the right have been verbally smacking the Waste of Space from Nevada around on that subject for a while now. 

However belated it may be, it is nice to see some of the MSM taking notice that the current Democratic leadership can't govern and chew gum at the same time. For the sake of the country, let's hope they concentrate on the gum chewing.

Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell and Real Clear Politics

Couldn't agree more...

This is the kind of opinion about Romney you see when an actual Republican, as opposed to a liberal member of the MSM, is writing:

"If Republicans nominate flip-flop Romney, they'll lose..."

I'm off to see what they're spiking the coffee with at the National Review now.

In endorsing Romney they referred to him as the most conservative and viable candidate. He's some of the former and none of the latter. If you don't believe me just wait fourteen months, reread this then ask President Clinton what she thinks.

A Bad Blessing For Pastor Mike

Here we are finishing up Week One of the Mike Huckabee (R-Um, Kind Of) juggernaut and he's already surrounded by so many red flags that it's hard to see his folksy grin. Of course, the red flags are only visible to discerning, real Republican voters who would rather win in the general election than make an ideological fetish statement in the primaries. 

It was a big week for me too as I broke out my first conspiracy theory to explain the media frenzy surrounding Aw Shucks Huck and JFK Romney.  

My none-too-fragile ego and I learned years ago that the universe seems hell-bent on proving me right so I've just sort of relaxed and accepted the responsibility. This week's validation came from the official publication of the Democratic National Committee, The New York Times. That the Times is unwittingly helping to support my theory should be enough for the rest of you to accept the verity of my pontification. 

Frank Rich, which is the name Maureen Dowd goes by when she's wearing men's clothing, spent several paragraphs comparing Mike Huckabee to St. Obama in Sunday's Opinion section. 

While not effusive in his praise of Huckabee, Rich wasn't the condescending one-note prick ex-theater critic to whom we're most often treated. I apologize for using the word "prick" to describe Rich but my spell-check always gives me grief for "peckerhead". 

Sunday's article was notable because Rich has never written an entire paragraph about any Republican without leveling charges of racism, insensitivity or mental retardation. He's one of those guys who you can just tell was pulling for the Soviet Union during the Cold War. After the Soviet demise he had to settle for writing for the Opinion page of the Times, which is the next best thing to actually working for Stalin. 

Lincoln was the last Republican the Times had anything nice to say about so why is Huckabee getting the soft treatment? Ah, we're back to my conspiracy theory now. I can only conclude that he's the guy who they think would be the easiest for any Democrat to trounce in the general election. Their thinking goes like this: if the MSM tells us he's our star we'll believe he's our star. 

If you don't buy that the MSM believes it can dictate opinion just look at Rich's tortured logic explaining Huckabee's rise. It's not really about his social conservative credentials, it's because he was nicer about immigration during the YouTube debate. Be honest, Frank. The Times has a meth lab where most companies put the coffee room, doesn't it?

Rich also attributes Huckabee's popularity to an "uplifting" message that would transcend the partisan bickering that plagues Washington. Yeah, that made me throw up in my mouth a little too. 

Knee-jerk partisanship occurs when a party is devoid of ideas, much like the modern Democrats. "We hate this administration!" isn't a platform, it's a hissy fit. I'm a big fan of the good kind of principled partisanship that's kept John Edwards' hand out of my wallet so far.

I asked last week who you wanted picking our nominee, us or MSNBC? Do you really want the New York Times sticking their leftist little fingers into the process? 

Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell and Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!)

Obama, Oprah, Oh-Oh

Saint Barack Obama has finally figured out a way to not sound like a lightweight when he speaks: let Oprah do the talking. 

The star maker herself hit the campaign trail to give His Blessedness a big boost in Iowa. Rumor has it she may purchase the state while there and give it to her next studio audience. 

What's notable and/or frightening about this is that it is more than just a publicity ploy. An anointing from Oprah borders on priceless. All she has to do is nod at something and its value triples. Just a few years back we lived in a world without Dr. Phil or Rachael Ray. Then Oprah manufactured them in her basement and sent them out into the world to be rich and ubiquitous. 

Even though Obama has spent the last year getting his leg humped by an adoring media he still trails The Madame by almost twenty points in the national polls. He's finally passed her in the Iowa polls though and is looking to increase that lead. He could have gone out and campaigned on his own to achieve this but that way he runs the risk of people actually paying attention to what he's saying now that he's the frontrunner. The last thing Obie needs is scrutiny when he speaks. 

No one sells the broad generalities better than St. Obama. He's got the smile to peddle absolutely nothing and make it seem like a good idea. 

"Every American should be happy and every day should have sunshine!"

Oprah says that Obama represents a "new direction" for America. Yeah, hard left.

Look at what Obama promises and all you really see is the same Democratic party repackaged socialism in the hands of a better salesman. When he starts talking specifics he comes up with gems like the claim that living overseas as a kid gives him better foreign policy credentials. I used to go to Mexico all the time when I was a kid but that doesn't make me an expert on NAFTA.

His health care plan talks about a partnership between private industry and the federal government which is somehow supposed to facilitate a reduction in paperwork. As we all know, nothing helps streamline any process like the involvement of the federal government. He sounds like he's campaigning to be president of Backwards Land with genius like that. 

His plan for Iraq? Pull all the troops out by a specific date so the enemy can plan accordingly then use "the power of the presidency" to make Iraq and its neighbors figure out a way to play nice. There's no mention from Obama yet on whether "the power of the presidency" comes with a decoder ring and secret disguise. 

He does promise to make sure that bird flu doesn't get all pandemic on us. I don't know that I've ever emitted as big a sigh of relief as when I read that. Screw terrorism and the economy, I want the next president working on bird flu. 

The Oprah trip through Iowa really isn't going to focus the spotlight on Obama. That's probably just fine with him. Now, instead of mulling over the retread positions he's trying to sell as a new direction people at his campaign stops will just keep saying, "Holy crap! It's freakin' Oprah!" 

It will now be his task to turn that into "I have no idea what he said but Oprah told me to vote for him."

And it just might work. 

Progressively Unstable

Our nutroot counterparts at The Daily Kos like to fancy themselves as being progressive. The only thing I can see a progression towards over there is abject lunacy. I offer no stronger proof than this: Teddy Kennedy (D-"Belch") is an esteemed contributor at TDK. 

The Kosmonauts comment on the Tedster's posts as if he were the prophet Jeremiah. This is what is considered "progressive" by the Church of Josef Stalin of Latter Day Commies: fawning over a guy who was elected to the Senate when face masks were still a novelty in the NFL. What forward thinking ideas will they give us next-the moon's not made of green cheese?

Here is an essential difference between the blogosphere behemoth that is The Daily Fascist Prick Kos and all of us alleged knuckle draggers on the right: we welcome the challenge of dissenting voices.

True, some right wing blogs will block a liberal troll or two. Many, however, will let the trolls comment away and stand up or, most often, get destroyed on their merits. The Kosmonauts just like to nuke you right away if you aren't in agreement with their regressively progressive thinking.

Why is an online community of about eleven kajillion people so afraid of one dissenting voice? Perhaps the interjection of reality into any debate makes them uncomfortable. The well documented allergy to logic on the left certainly factors into the equation. Wait, I forgot the obvious: the political lunatic fringe occupied by the nutroots abhors any free speech that is remotely pro-American. 

Blaming the United States first is more pathological than ideological on the nutroot left. Herein lies the path to madness for these neo-commies: they detest the very system that enables them to exist. 

From there it's nothing more than an exercise in painfully contorted logic that makes posts like this seem reasonable:

"The soul of the Democratic Party is at stake" 

This little piece manages to find John "Fluffy" Edwards' (D-Larceny) life's work as an ambulance chaser noble. 

The most telling thing about this piece is that it has to describe which of the Big Three Democrats is the least offensive lawyer. 

A progressive nutroot talking about "the soul" of anything is akin to a second-grader lecturing on quantum mechanics. It's simply a subject of which the speaker can't have any real knowledge, the difference being that the second-grader harbors no illusions of superiority. 

I would love it if these nimrods would invite me over for a free-for-all. Something tells me that they'd only agree to such an encounter if I promised not to bring the male anatomy that makes me confrontational in the first place. Big deal. I'll take 'em all on with one you-know-what tied behind my back. 

Cross posted at Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!)

Huck Puts On His Big Boy Pants

First, this headline:

Huckabee rises to 2nd in GOP race

It's easy to sneak up out of nowhere because no one is paying close attention to you. Mike's a player now and he might find the scrutiny to be somewhat, um, taxing. The Huckster's got solid social conservative credentials but the rest is a lot of "golly-gee" fluff hiding positions that crumble like Bill Clinton's willpower at a cheerleader competition. So, if the other former Governor from Hope, AR wants to run with the big boys we might want to take a closer look. That leads us to this headline:

Huckabee is Far From Reagan's Heir

Let's see how "Aw Shucks Huck" holds up under the spotlight.

I Want My Mike TV

If alternative universes are real, I've been bouncing between two of them like a ping-pong ball the last couple of weeks. 

Despite the fact that I live in West L.A. I do talk to a lot of Republicans, just not face-to-face in my own neighborhood. Between online networking, blogging, friends and family I keep in pretty regular contact with GOP voters. I also go on the road a lot to places where they still allow a two party system. I meet and speak with a lot of faithful Republicans that way too. 

Given that and the MSM coverage of the Republican presidential campaign, you would think I'd be running into Romney and Huckabee supporters everywhere, right? Here's the tally so far:

Romney-1 (just yesterday)

Huckabee-0

When I'm not talking to real Republicans I wander through the alternative universe of the MSM and guess what I find there? 

"The Mike And Mitt Show" coming at me live 24/7.

I wrote about the media love affair with Romney yesterday. It's clear, however, that this has become one big political threesome with him, Huck and our buddies in the press. 

The manure was put down on the lawn here a couple of months ago so that's not what I'm smelling. Something definitely stinks though.

Just take a look at Real Clear Politics today. There's more talk about Romney there than on his campaign site. It's been like this since yesterday. That followed a week or so of breathless Huckabee swooning. 

I'm not saying that neither of them is newsworthy, it's just that there may be something else on GOP voters' minds besides where the candidate is going for Christmas services. 

This can't really be called a conspiracy on the part of the media, that would be giving too much credit to the intellects of the MSMers. It is more than likely a fervent hope that we'll look away from real issues and focus on the candidates' religions. The obviously liberal MSM could be trying to cherry pick a candidate for us who might match up more favorably against Her Missusness or Saint Obama. 

Guess who among the GOP big guys poll the worst against Hilly and Obie? The media's own omnipresent governor Romney. 

Mike Huckabee is so new to the upper tier dance that RCP hasn't even been tracking head-to-head polls for him and the Democrats, if they exist at all. He may keep up this ascendance up but he's one of those guys whose record doesn't hold up well at all to scrutiny. Any Republican who votes for him solely because he is a preacher isn't thinking much like a Republican at all.

Here are the things that are talked about among real Republicans when considering a candidate:

A) National Security

B) Border Security

C) Controlling Spending

D) Taxes

E) What a useless waste of Capitol Hill office space Harry Reid is.

It's nice that Huckabee is a man of God. It's scary that he taxed like a crazed Kennedy when he was governor. 

And Mitt? His faith does impress. It's also admirable how he keeps in such great shape by doing backflips on issues to fit the election cycle du jour. 

Real Republicans need to decide who will pick the nominee: us or MSNBC?

Cross posted at Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!) 

The Mitt Fit

Finally, Mitt Romney (R-Sort Of) gave his "Oh crap I'm falling behind!" "Mormon" speech to clear up his position regarding the influence of one's religion on presidential decision making. This is Romney, remember, so his position on the subject could change after some careful consideration.

For those of you that missed the speech, let me summarize:

"Hey, I love Jesus just as much as Mike Huckabee!"

Romney faced the challenge of having to prove that he was deeply religious to suck up to the evangelical wing of the GOP while also saying those deep convictions wouldn't influence his decision making.

Good luck with that, Governor.

I've grown weary of the media fascination with Mitt Romney. He's spent enough money in Iowa to purchase the state ten times over. As a result, he managed to get to the top of the polls there only to be threatened by Mike Huckabee (R-Aw Shucks), who has spent about eight cents on his campaign. We've heard for six months now that John McCain (R-Cojones) is in a free-fall yet Romney still trails him in national polls.

This has nothing to do with religion. As a practicing Catholic I think I'm more disturbed by the fact that Rudy Giuliani trades in his wife every five years. I don't think the nation can handle the trauma of multiple First Ladies in one administration.

Romney was a one term governor of a liberal state so out of touch with reality that it keeps reelecting Ted Kennedy (D-Liver Damage) and John Kerry (D-I'm Still Talking). His one term was a study in political expediency. He caved into the will of the liberals when that was the path of least resistance. I don't buy the sincerity of his position changes any more than Giuliani's promise to appoint the right kind of judges. When did the GOP become the party of "just tell us what we want to hear"? That's a political philosophy already perfected by the Democrats.

Enough of Romney, already. If we need to organize another Olympics we'll call him.

Coffee's brewing. Time for the Republicans to take a whiff and snap out of it.

Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell and Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!)

Your Electric Bill On Steroids

Remember Enron, that corporate symbol of all things evil? It's late chairman, Kenneth Lay, and his cronies were bilking the public and their employees at every turn. The company became the favorite whipping boy of the left when wailing about corporate greed. In the end, all could agree that the execs at Enron were a particularly ignominious collection of scumbags.

So...guess what the scumbags had decided would "do more to promote Enron's business than almost any other regulatory initiative..." and were feverishly pursuing when the hammer came down on them? Nuclear power plants? Chinese coal? Guatemalan petting zoos? Nope.

Carbon trading.

That darling scheme of the Eco-Stalins and the central component of the Lieberman-Warner "Climate Security Act" was also a favorite of the greediest corporate creeps in recent American history. Coincidence? It is if you have a Tolkien-esque imagination.

In fact, Ken Lay had private meetings at the White House during Clinton-Gore years to lobby for the signing and ratification of the Kyoto Protocols because he knew it would enable him to become king of the carbon "cap and trade" thieves. Yes, I said "Clinton-Gore years".

Still think everybody is in this for the good of the planet? Only if "planet" is code for "energy execs' wallets".

Last week, I mentioned Arclightzero's well researched post that digs into the money trail behind all of these allegedly altruistic Climate Commies. He then followed it up with this post, which dug even deeper. Another article from the Competitive Enterprise Institute explains how the cap and trade scheme would actually hit poorer families the hardest. Where's the outcry from Fluffy Edwards' well-lit mansion?

The "Climate Security Act" now looks like it's going to make it past the full Senate committee. It secures nothing (how about some border security while you nitwits are working?). It's economically damaging and does little more than make those who voted for it feel good about more federal helping.

John Warner hasn't had to stand for election since 2002 and is retiring so he doesn't seem to be very beholden to anyone other than the voices in his head ("Help your legacy, save the planet..."). In the "More Coincidence?" category, Sempra Energy was the fourth largest contributor to Lieberman's last race. What's one of Sempra's big lobbying points these last few years? Federal carbon cap and...never mind, you get it now.

If bills like the Lieberman-Warner "Climate Folly Money Grab" become law the energy companies will have their hands so far up in your business you'll feel as if you're in the middle of a permanent colonoscopy. It's also the first step in ceding economic sovereignty to the United Nations, which is a great idea if you aren't American.

Happy Holidays, kids. Instead of dealing with real security like troop funding or border control, this is what your elected officials are working on during their abbreviated session. Can I interest anyone in a little political stupidity "cap and trade" scheme? I've got a Henry Waxman, a Barbara Boxer and a Dianne Feinstein I would be willing to trade for just one person with common sense. What's that, you can't do it without heavy government subsidies?

Never mind.

Cross posted at Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!)

Wake Up And Smell The Pantsuit

The official publication of the Democratic National Committee, which many people still refer to as The New York Times, has an interesting little article in it today about congressional Democrats pondering the true import of Madame Hillary winning the nomination.

Some freshman (freshperson?) members of the House won close elections last year based on a platform that consisted of little more than "I don't like George W. Bush!" That paucity of plans and ideals has translated into a year of subterranean approval numbers. Now these same Democrats are getting ready to hit the campaign trail again and realizing that the Mrs. might be, at best, problematic for them if she's the heir to the throne nominee next year.

The Bush-Clinton-Bush-(maybe) Clinton White House volley has had almost twenty years to wear on the American people now. True, it's produced some historical political theater but the biggest byproduct of the dueling dynasties has been animosity. Democrats now fear that having Mrs. Madame head up the ticket might mobilize the GOP base in way that pales in comparison to the labor union browbeating of Democratic voters.

The Democrats got fat and happy last year by linking vulnerable Republican candidates to President Bush. They know intimately how well that tactic works when a polarizing figure is the party's standard bearer. They'll try to do the same next year but the GOP candidates have already been working hard to distance themselves from the president.

So the Democrats will try to link GOP candidates to George W. Bush and the Republicans will piggyback Her Missuship onto their opponents. The difference will be the fact that the president will be home and, no doubt, relishing the fact that he doesn't have to go through this crap again while the Madame will be out there every day, regaling the common folk with her robotic charm.
That's enough to make anyone sweat.

Cross posted at Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!)