Chairman John

Nothing red-flags desperation in a modern Democrat's campaign quite like class warfare rhetoric. It's a variation on a theme that goes something like this: a rich white guy starts railing against all the rich white guys who are getting richer by the nanosecond and promising that he'll do whatever he can to get rid of the rich white guys. The prerequisite political pilgrimage for Democrats involves taking full advantage of all the opportunities for wealth this country has to offer for twenty years then vowing to make sure such a travesty never occurs again. Irony, you'll note, is never discussed in Democratic politics.

Few in recent memory have followed this plan more diligently than former Senator John "Fluffy" Edwards (D-Unreality). He's made tens of millions of dollars as a trial lawyer and now wants to make sure that everyone knows he thinks that it would be bad if someone else were to do the same. His campaign trails Hillary Clinton's by so much that he needs the Hubble telescope to keep her in sight now so he's hopping on the Class Warfare Express.

It's always striking to note what a disconnect there is between what's actually important in the world and what John Edwards thinks is going on. While most people who can tie their own shoes agree that Iran presents many problems to the free world Edwards has a slightly different view. After new sanctions against Iran were announced last week, Edwards rushed in with this pronouncement, "We need to stand up to these people. We need to stop them and we need to be strong in our opposition." Was he talking about the leaders in Iran? Of course not, he was speaking of the Republicans. In Johnny Land there are no terrorists or hostile nations. The real enemies are greenhouse gases and Republicans. Rich, puppy-hating Republicans who are secretly working on an SUV Death Star that's going to kill all your Social Security.

Today Edwards unveiled his plan to make everything better for everyone all the time. Forever. Yes, Fluffy truly believes that he and the government have that kind of power. I guess they don't teach much history in pre-law. The programs are being referred to as "New Deal-like" in the hope that invoking FDR will obscure their "Old Marxism-Like" qualities.

After a trip to the salon for a haircut and pedicure, Edwards says that his first priorities as President will be losing the war in Iraq, enacting universal (code name for "Government Run") health care and overhauling the energy system. "Those are three things instantly I would do," said Edwards. Instantly? Looks like President Fluffy comes with a magic wand too!

Back to the irony: Edwards was a personal injury lawyer. He can afford good health care because he devoted his career to helping drive health care costs through the roof. One could see how Fluffy's head would start spinning were he to come back to reality.

The best part of today's lecture on socialism from Edwards was his heartfelt desire to have the government fund kindergarten and "college for everyone." Few things make a Democrat salivate harder than the prospect of getting to indoctrinate school children through a government funded education system. It's the real reason they keep telling us that studies show that kids who begin preschool in the womb do better throughout life. The longer you can make them talk about Earth Day and not talk about Christmas the better this kind of nonsense Edwards is spouting has a chance of being believed. "We simply can't have children exposed to their parents too much. They might start praying or something!"

Why am I making such a fuss about a guy who is 17000 points behind Mrs. Clinton in all the polls? Because he's young and will probably be made part of any plans in a (shudder) Democratic administration. And he may run for president again. Mostly, it makes me very nervous when an ambulance chaser smiles and tells me he's got my back.

Cross posted at The Grizzly Groundswell

Mahmoud '08-The Democrats' New Star!

As I sit here listening to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad prattle on at the United Nations a couple of thoughts come to mind immediately.

First: if the the UN is sitting around listening to their dictator du jour, they can't be busy trying to enact a new global communism to curb greenhouse gases. There is a small measure of comfort to be taken in that.

Second: I've always been under the impression that Ahmadinejad is a fascist Islamic dictator. Now that I've spent a few minutes listening to his talking points I fear that I may have to admit that I was wrong. He talks about not finding WMD in Iraq, a gap between the rich and poor, the need for the U.S. to immediately withdraw its troops from Iraq. Throw in a discourse about an "arms race", the U.S. being "occupiers" and flexing its muscle too much around the world and it becomes obvious that he's a Democrat!

Also, I swear I've seen that same outfit on Hillary Clinton.

He's even talking about God, which has become all the rage with the Democratic front runners in recent months.

Ahmadinejad's hostility towards Israel and sympathy for the Palestinians puts him in sync with one of the Democrats' most revered elder statesmen, Jimmy Carter.

As soon as the speech is done, find a copy of it online. Read it and you'll have a heads up on the finished platform that will be hammered out at the Democratic convention next year.

I absolutely shudder to think of the amount of drool over at the Democratic National Committee while they're listening to Ahmadinejad calling for a "Coalition for Peace." They've finally found a world leader who understands them. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the message they wished John Kerry could have gotten out in 2004. It certainly sounds like a coalescing of all the Dems hold dear, anyway (Maybe they should have sent a translator on the road with Kerry). The guy is one Al Gore hug and Sean Penn lunch away from marginalizing Barack Obama.

Gosh, free speech is a hoot when it brings such clarity, isn't it?

Obamaworld

OK, I know Barack Obama smokes. I don't know what he smokes and I don't know if he's getting it from Howard Dean but the guy is growing loopier by the day. As the anointed darling of the Hollywood Socialist Republic, Sen. Obama can almost be forgiven for confusing celebrity with substance. No doubt that he has tons of the former. As for the latter, he's going to need Oprah to take some of that $260 million she made last year and buy him some in a hurry.

Obama's appeal has always been that he is camera-ready. He's a charmer. If he weren't running against Bill Clinton's cyborg half, the senator would be compared to him all the time. Instead, Democrats keep invoking JFK (and they complain about the Republicans bringing up Reagan all the time). His campaign has brought in more money than a partnership between Bill Gates and God.

But he hasn't budged in the polls.

So, Sen. Obama has decided to start saying stuff. Until now, most of his rhetoric has been the sort of broad-themed, feel good cotton candy that Democrats love. Better education. Better health care for-as always-EVERYONE. Better ways to tell an enemy exactly when and how you plan to give up on a war. Oops, he actually has put in some thought on that last one. Like the Democratic party of the last twenty years, Obama's ideas have been heavy on the tugging of heart strings and light on the details.

This week the early debate season took its toll and Obama started with the aforementioned stuff. He said a President Obama would be willing to meet with the leaders of North Korea, Cuba and Iran in his first year in office. Time permitting, he might squeeze in a little badminton with Hugo Chavez. My mind is still reeling that the words came out of his mouth and he thought they formed a good idea. There are all kinds of things I want the next President of the United States to do with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, lunch isn't one of them.

Feeling that he was on roll after proposing the Summit From Hell, Obama went on to beef up his foreign policy street cred. He told a group of media and entertainment types that he thought his judgment in that area was superior to that of any other candidate in the field. Why? Because he has lived in other places. Seen the U.S. "...through the eyes of people outside our borders," and things like that. Hey-John McCain lived in Hanoi for five and a half years. That's gotta count for something, right Barack? What about all that time Dennis Kucinich has spent on Neptune?

I don't know about you but I'm going to look for a president who sees the United States through the eyes of an American no matter where he his.