Huckenstein

The (insert appropriate adjective here-"meteoric"/"stunning"/"creepy") rise of Mike Huckabee (R-Yuk-Yuk) is playing out like the scene in "Frankenstein" where the newly created monster sends the villagers into a panic. The villagers in this case are represented by GOP voters who actually want to win the general election. 

Everyone expected this to be a wild race for the nomination but the escape of Huckenstein to the top of the polls has voters considering all kinds of doomsday scenarios. 

Tony Blankley writes today about the Republicans heading to a brokered convention now because of the Huckfest. Part two of a brilliant imagining of such a scenario is posted at Rightwing Nuthouse today. Apparently, we were guaranteed having a true front runner emerge from the previous top tier GOP candidates but the sheer randomness of Aw-Shucks Mike's emergence is a harbinger of certain chaos. 

I'm not so sure.

I have hope that a different scenario will emerge now and I have no real reason to believe that it will other than my gut telling me that it could. Bear in mind that I use my gut to pick lottery numbers too and that hasn't worked out so well yet. 

Here's my political Christmas wish. It's obvious that Huckabee is scaring sentient Republican voters. These voters have spent the endless pre-primary season whining about not knowing who to get behind. Bloggers seem to be largely united behind Fred Thompson. Evangelicals are glomming on to Huckabee now. Those with easy access to a bong love Ron Paul. There are, unfortunately, a lot of GOP voters who don't fall into any of those categories and they need to have their heads take a trip out of whatever dark places they've shoved them. If we're lucky, the news of Huckabee's disturbing surge will reach those dark recesses and spur them into action.

A little indecision is OK. Jumping off the side of a tall building in a panic because you can't make up your mind is the kind of thing that gets people like Hillary Clinton elected. It's time for the GOP to unite behind an electable candidate (sorry, Mitt fans) and prove that it can't be hijacked by one fringe wing of the party. 

Let's fire up the torches and go after this monster once and for all.

Because there is a bigger, scarier one waiting in the Democratic shadows after Huckenstein is dispatched. 

Cross posted at Real Clear Politics (VOTE for it!)

News I Can Use

Weary of the Republican party Hucking up its chances next year, I spent the day doing fun Christmas stuff with my kid. I had hoped that by avoiding the news all day I could come back and find that the Huckabee/Romney nightmare I've been having would be gone. Alas, I waited until after midnight to check anything out but the two are still hanging around like STDs at a Tijuana whorehouse, which, coincidentally, is where Bill Clinton is scheduled to appear first if his life partner becomes president.

After whipping through my usual news sites I had one thought: if Huckabee wins those damn caucuses we should seriously think about trading Iowa to the Canadians for some beer. People shouldn't be allowed to have a significant say in choosing the leader of the free world when they're frozen, pissed off and drinking all day to combat Seasonal Affective Disorder. 

Rather than subject myself to any more Huckobamaney fawning from the breathless American media I decided to see what our closest allies across the pond were writing about. I was rewarded almost immediately for my efforts with this headline from the BBC News site:

"Flatulent cow puts wind up locals..."

No, it's not about a Hillary Clinton joke that's being forwarded in emails.

It's just a lot nicer to think about than the title "President" in front of the names Clinton or Obama.  

Huck Puts On His Big Boy Pants

First, this headline:

Huckabee rises to 2nd in GOP race

It's easy to sneak up out of nowhere because no one is paying close attention to you. Mike's a player now and he might find the scrutiny to be somewhat, um, taxing. The Huckster's got solid social conservative credentials but the rest is a lot of "golly-gee" fluff hiding positions that crumble like Bill Clinton's willpower at a cheerleader competition. So, if the other former Governor from Hope, AR wants to run with the big boys we might want to take a closer look. That leads us to this headline:

Huckabee is Far From Reagan's Heir

Let's see how "Aw Shucks Huck" holds up under the spotlight.