Democrats' Nightmare: Americans Are Happy!

Nothing terrifies a modern Democratic politician more than a happy American. A recent Gallup Poll found that 84% of Americans are satisfied with the way things are going in their lives now. One would wonder how this could possibly be in light of the Democrats' message that the middle class is desperately poor, the planet is dying, the whole world hates us and we'll never, ever be able to afford a doctor again. How could anyone be happy in such a miserable place?

If there isn't something broken that the Democrats can promise to belch money on and fix, they've got nothing to offer. It's not so much a political ideology they espouse as much as it is political pimping. Count how many times Obie, the Missus and Fluffy Edwards say "I will fund..." in a speech and you'll see what I mean. Rather than thinking through problems they prefer to throw cash around like a drug dealer at a strip club. 

This is one reason I've never wavered in my political thinking. My unchecked ego won't allow me to be a member of a political party that tells me I can't find happiness without its help. I don't know what the Democrats used to be like but in my lifetime their message has always been this: "Your life sucks, you sad little American. Now give us all your money and we promise to spend more money on you. Don't ask how it works. Just trust us." 

So what are we to make of these happy Americans? Are they all drunk? Does Gallup only poll people living in the mansions around John Edwards' palace? 

Or could it be that the Democrats are, once again, just plain wrong?

Back to the battle against chronic "funding"...

 

Maybe this is why Nancy Pelosi needs so many flowers...

Panel Urges End to Incontinence Stigma

Oh, that was a government panel, by the way. And people complain about money being spent to fight terrorism. 

The leader of the NIH panel offered taxpayer funded gems like this: "All of us are walking around with a bag of water and a bag of stool in our pelvis..."

The next time some audience member gives me grief about the way comedians talk on stage I'm going to refer him to Dr. Bag O'Stool over at the NIH. 

Personally, I think it's good that some things carry a stigma. It's what keeps us from having to watch people we aren't attracted to fondle each other in public. We are already too quick to discuss things that would have made our grandparents, well, become incontinent if mentioned. 

I am perfectly OK with voting "Stigma For Life" status when it comes to incontinence. No one needs to be sitting at an Olive Garden and hear, "Frank, I told you there was too much garlic in the marinara, I just crapped myself. I'll be back in a minute; don't order me any coffee!"

Next up for the panel: raising the self esteem of those afflicted with chronic flatulence. 

May I suggest that the NIH get back to work on things that could kill us? 

Shouldn't They Buy Us Dinner First?

I was reading this post at Wake Up America about the $606 billion dollar spending bill that President Bush, in perhaps his first moment of fiscal clarity since his tax cuts, vetoed and was so stunned by every aspect of it that I went numb for hours before I could write anything about it.

First, I'd like to say to President Bush: Welcome back to the GOP. I've supported him on the war on terror but he's been spending money on other things as if he was Teddy Kennedy at a Moroccan whore house. It's one of the big reasons Republicans like me couldn't seem to find our checkbooks to support the party during last year's elections. If he and the other Republicans back in Washington don't get a grip on this issue soon they can all practice saying "Madame Comrade President". It's nice to see these lines drawn again. It is the job of the Democrats to promise to fund everything forever (see: John "A Pony For Every American" Edwards ). It used to be the job of the Republicans to say "Whoa there, Sparky, back away from the taxpayers." It would be very nice to see this issue become a focal point of the GOP platform next year.

Next, I painstakingly went through the pork items listed in the post before checking out reaction in the MSM. My first stop was my local newspaper, The Los Angeles Times (a big city paper with a circulation of about fourteen), and found its article titled, "Bush vetoes education, spending bill." A quick check of some of the other usual suspects found that this was the general theme of the story now. According to the MSM, it wasn't a bloated bill with more pork than a new Britney Spears video, it was a bill that would have funded "education" and "health." This is a convenient ploy which enables the Democrats to avoid discussion of the $10 billion or so in pork by focusing on things we need to do for the children.

Here are some of the health and education items in the bill.

Chuck Schumer (D-Tantrum) and Mrs. Clinton wanted almost half a million bucks for "Jazz At Lincoln Center." I kind of feel good when listening to jazz so I guess that makes it "health" spending.

Occasional Republican Arlen Spector (R-Back Stab) wanted almost $900,000 for "abstinence education and related services." Sen. Spector is invited to my house any time. I'll show him how easily I can say "Don't have sex," to my daughter at a cost of $0.00. It's ironic, spending almost a million dollars on abstinence can make you feel like you've just been screwed.

This one really caught my eye: "$1,000,000 for Bismarck State College for an instrumentation and control training program for the energy industry." This is about as vague as Christopher Dodd's (D-No Shot) reasons for still being in the race. I believe it's a fancy way of saying "We want to teach people how to work the 'On/Off' switches at the windmills." They'll no doubt seek additional funding next year to teach workers where the sun is when installing solar panels.

The list goes on, with Republican and Democrat offenders sprinkled throughout. Heads up people, this is the kind of crap Congress pulls when they think we're not paying attention. They take a bill that has necessary funding as its purpose, sneak in ten billion dollars worth of "No Sex Jazz at the Energy Industry" and pray that you won't notice. Since this particular bill has Medicare and Medicaid funding in it they were sure the president wouldn't veto it. They're not merely playing politics with your money, they're doing it with your health this time.

My hope is that every member of Congress attached to this porky mess gets voted out of office so he or she can find something in the private sector they're good at.

Like bank fraud.

Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell and Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!)