Democrats' Nightmare: Americans Are Happy!

Nothing terrifies a modern Democratic politician more than a happy American. A recent Gallup Poll found that 84% of Americans are satisfied with the way things are going in their lives now. One would wonder how this could possibly be in light of the Democrats' message that the middle class is desperately poor, the planet is dying, the whole world hates us and we'll never, ever be able to afford a doctor again. How could anyone be happy in such a miserable place?

If there isn't something broken that the Democrats can promise to belch money on and fix, they've got nothing to offer. It's not so much a political ideology they espouse as much as it is political pimping. Count how many times Obie, the Missus and Fluffy Edwards say "I will fund..." in a speech and you'll see what I mean. Rather than thinking through problems they prefer to throw cash around like a drug dealer at a strip club. 

This is one reason I've never wavered in my political thinking. My unchecked ego won't allow me to be a member of a political party that tells me I can't find happiness without its help. I don't know what the Democrats used to be like but in my lifetime their message has always been this: "Your life sucks, you sad little American. Now give us all your money and we promise to spend more money on you. Don't ask how it works. Just trust us." 

So what are we to make of these happy Americans? Are they all drunk? Does Gallup only poll people living in the mansions around John Edwards' palace? 

Or could it be that the Democrats are, once again, just plain wrong?

Back to the battle against chronic "funding"...

 

Maybe this is why Nancy Pelosi needs so many flowers...

Panel Urges End to Incontinence Stigma

Oh, that was a government panel, by the way. And people complain about money being spent to fight terrorism. 

The leader of the NIH panel offered taxpayer funded gems like this: "All of us are walking around with a bag of water and a bag of stool in our pelvis..."

The next time some audience member gives me grief about the way comedians talk on stage I'm going to refer him to Dr. Bag O'Stool over at the NIH. 

Personally, I think it's good that some things carry a stigma. It's what keeps us from having to watch people we aren't attracted to fondle each other in public. We are already too quick to discuss things that would have made our grandparents, well, become incontinent if mentioned. 

I am perfectly OK with voting "Stigma For Life" status when it comes to incontinence. No one needs to be sitting at an Olive Garden and hear, "Frank, I told you there was too much garlic in the marinara, I just crapped myself. I'll be back in a minute; don't order me any coffee!"

Next up for the panel: raising the self esteem of those afflicted with chronic flatulence. 

May I suggest that the NIH get back to work on things that could kill us? 

Cheesed Danish

It's always a comfort to find that even socialists think high taxes suck. This article in the International Herald Tribune gives us a little peek into the nanny-state utopia that is Denmark.

It seems that the Danish economy has enjoyed a few years of success but is about to come to a screeching halt soon due to a labor shortage. The article states that the country has such "effective income redistribution" that it "is the most nearly equal society in the world, in that wealth is more evenly spread than anywhere else."

That just sounds like the warmest and fuzziest system ever, doesn't it? Everybody gets the same amount of money, a fashionable Danish address and a free teddy bear to name after the religious leader of his or her choice. Who wouldn't want to live there?

The Danes, apparently. You see, to maintain a Robin Hood society, one has to be very, well, Robin Hood-ish. The Danish twist on the story is that you don't even have to be rich to have the government steal your money from you for "redistribution". If you make the equivalent of 70,000 American dollars you get the privilege of a 63% tax rate.

We have something similar here in the United States but it's referred to as grand larceny.

Oddly enough, younger Danes aren't as willing to bend over and let the government approach them from behind and are moving elsewhere. They can do this with ease because Denmark moved into that post-modern commune known as "The European Union". As such, they are free to work in any EU country. Denmark has accomplished the previously unthinkable: making the UK an attractive tax alternative.

The best part of this story is that all of the fleeing labor had most of its education and training paid for by the government. They take what they need then it's "Hasta la vista, baby," but in Danish, so it probably doesn't sound as cool.

I propose a "Disgruntled Native Exchange" program. Skilled Danes can move to the United States and enjoy a non-criminal tax rate as long as they contribute to the economy. Every American liberal who whines about needing more funding for this or that (especially that) and says it's OK if he has to pay more taxes can move to Denmark.

And stay there.

Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell and Real Clear Politics.

What Fred Said

There was a time, long before things like September 11th, climate hysteria and Hillary Clinton's disturbing pant suits of androgyny when I wouldn't seriously listen to a presidential candidate who didn't talk about overhauling the tax code. (Can I get a little Jack Kemp "Amen!" in here?)

Republican candidates have, at best, been paying a small amount of lip service to taxes in recent years. Republican candidates have also gotten their heads handed to them in recent elections. Blame the war all you want but, as I've said before, the party lost last year because it didn't pay enough attention to taxes and fiscal responsibility.

The sad thing for Republicans thus far in this race is that Ron Paul is the only candidate who has tried to address taxes. Even the Village Idiot can have a few lucid moments but when they're sandwiched between all the crazy talk they are hard to listen to. His army of flying cyberspam monkeys have helped Paul morph into the Dennis Kucinich of the right. All we can do is stare at them, wonder how they got here and hope that the mother ship returns for them soon.

Until this week, Fred Thompson has looked like he's running to be nominated by the Apathetic American party. When I've had trouble sleeping all I had to do was watch Thompson on TV and I'd be out like Keith Richards after a night in a hot tub filled with Jack Daniels.

Fred finally decided to start speaking in specific terms this week and he started with a proposal about taxes that he trotted out on Fox News Sunday. It's a hybrid system that would allow people to free themselves and file using a flat rate. Those who are enamored of the current oppressive system (Democrats and the clinically insane) can continue to file that way.

Thompson is the opposite of most of the other candidates (on either side) in that he is better speaking in detail than he is blathering on about broad generalities. To date we've had the GOP candidates vaguely discussing saving us from evil and the Democrats promising everything but free puppies to every American who isn't part of "The Rich". Of course, I'm dismissing the absurd detail that Rudy Giuliani (R-9/11) goes into by narrowing his record down to one day in history. This proposal, coupled with his emphasis on Rudy's awful gun rights record could be the beginning of a sort of second entry into the race for Thompson.

All I want for Christmas is a GOP candidate I can get excited about again. One who will send both Rudy and Hillary back to New York for good. Let's get Freddy a couple shots of espresso and see if he can do the trick.

Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell and Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!)

"As long as we don't have to live with them..."

Behold the modern Democratic party: among its elder statesman are a guy who let his mistress drown while saving himself and a former high ranking member of the Ku Klux Klan. The party continues its codependent love affair with its most popular recent president, who is also a chronic sexual predator. Howard Dean proved himself to be too psychotic to be the party's nominee in 2004 but they rewarded him with the chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee. Oh, the current front runner for the 2008 Democratic ticket, who also happens to be the chief enabler of the aforementioned sexual predator, has received the endorsement of OJ Simpson.

All in all, it's quite a party, don't you think?

Now we have some new evidence that the party whose very existence depends on frightening voters with class warfare rhetoric is, in fact, the party of the rich.

A new study has found that congressional Democrats represent the majority of the nation's wealthiest districts. It would also appear that there is a close correlation between the number of wealthy households in a district and the likelihood of a Democrat being elected there.

The Democrats often blather on about "two Americas" when campaigning. What they don't mention is that they discovered the disparity when they accidentally peeked out the limo window and saw some of their kitchen staff getting on a bus one day.

"If elected, I promise to fight for the poor and disenfranchised, just as soon as they bring me some foie gras and brandy!"

This explains so much about the current Democratic mindset.

First, their fervor for giving driver's licenses to illegal aliens may just be a money-saving move that enables them to avoid paying fair market wages to a chauffeur. "Flavio is simply doing the driving that my American chauffeur didn't want to do."

It also clears up why the alleged anti-war party has been waging war on the American taxpayer for decades. It's easy to keep up a financial assault on the middle class if you don't have to actually interact with any middle class Americans. "I know all about the plight of the middle class and I'm going to vote myself a taxpayer funded raise so I can form a committee to study the problem and decide what to do about it. First, I have to fire the landscaping staff for the shoddy job they did on the azaleas around the gazebo at my summer home."

The amazing thing is that Democratic candidates keep straight faces when spewing their class warfare crap. John "Fluffy" Edwards (D-Chasing Ambulances) has built his entire campaign around fighting for the poor. When did he amp up this rhetoric? After he was caught paying $400 for a haircut. Edwards probably knows as much about "the poor" as a Cuban kid knows about the "freedom to emigrate".

Edwards' partner on the 2004 ticket, John Kerry, went on and on about the hard working, "shrinking" middle class in his acceptance speech. The only workable plan for helping the middle class that Kerry ever put forth involved conning rich women into marrying him. He is no more likely to feel the financial pain of the middle class than he is to feel the pain of menstrual cramps.

Lastly, this news helps inform us as to why this progressive Democratic party fights so hard to regress to its 20th century roots on everything from politically dooming our soldiers like they did in Viet Nam to making sure Social Security remains as it was in the 1930's. They seek to go back to a time when, however misguided, their actions were more in tune with their ideals. It must be difficult reconciling being a party of privilege with pretending to bond with the common man.

"Of course I understand the struggles of common Americans. Just last week I had to yell at my maid for bringing me the wrong gold watch. It was the third time she's done it this year. If she does it again I've threatened to send her on a date with Teddy Kennedy and Bill Clinton at the same time. You can stop the foot massage now, Raul."

I don't need politicians who want to feel my pain, I just want them to stop causing it.

Cross posted at Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!)

Shouldn't They Buy Us Dinner First?

I was reading this post at Wake Up America about the $606 billion dollar spending bill that President Bush, in perhaps his first moment of fiscal clarity since his tax cuts, vetoed and was so stunned by every aspect of it that I went numb for hours before I could write anything about it.

First, I'd like to say to President Bush: Welcome back to the GOP. I've supported him on the war on terror but he's been spending money on other things as if he was Teddy Kennedy at a Moroccan whore house. It's one of the big reasons Republicans like me couldn't seem to find our checkbooks to support the party during last year's elections. If he and the other Republicans back in Washington don't get a grip on this issue soon they can all practice saying "Madame Comrade President". It's nice to see these lines drawn again. It is the job of the Democrats to promise to fund everything forever (see: John "A Pony For Every American" Edwards ). It used to be the job of the Republicans to say "Whoa there, Sparky, back away from the taxpayers." It would be very nice to see this issue become a focal point of the GOP platform next year.

Next, I painstakingly went through the pork items listed in the post before checking out reaction in the MSM. My first stop was my local newspaper, The Los Angeles Times (a big city paper with a circulation of about fourteen), and found its article titled, "Bush vetoes education, spending bill." A quick check of some of the other usual suspects found that this was the general theme of the story now. According to the MSM, it wasn't a bloated bill with more pork than a new Britney Spears video, it was a bill that would have funded "education" and "health." This is a convenient ploy which enables the Democrats to avoid discussion of the $10 billion or so in pork by focusing on things we need to do for the children.

Here are some of the health and education items in the bill.

Chuck Schumer (D-Tantrum) and Mrs. Clinton wanted almost half a million bucks for "Jazz At Lincoln Center." I kind of feel good when listening to jazz so I guess that makes it "health" spending.

Occasional Republican Arlen Spector (R-Back Stab) wanted almost $900,000 for "abstinence education and related services." Sen. Spector is invited to my house any time. I'll show him how easily I can say "Don't have sex," to my daughter at a cost of $0.00. It's ironic, spending almost a million dollars on abstinence can make you feel like you've just been screwed.

This one really caught my eye: "$1,000,000 for Bismarck State College for an instrumentation and control training program for the energy industry." This is about as vague as Christopher Dodd's (D-No Shot) reasons for still being in the race. I believe it's a fancy way of saying "We want to teach people how to work the 'On/Off' switches at the windmills." They'll no doubt seek additional funding next year to teach workers where the sun is when installing solar panels.

The list goes on, with Republican and Democrat offenders sprinkled throughout. Heads up people, this is the kind of crap Congress pulls when they think we're not paying attention. They take a bill that has necessary funding as its purpose, sneak in ten billion dollars worth of "No Sex Jazz at the Energy Industry" and pray that you won't notice. Since this particular bill has Medicare and Medicaid funding in it they were sure the president wouldn't veto it. They're not merely playing politics with your money, they're doing it with your health this time.

My hope is that every member of Congress attached to this porky mess gets voted out of office so he or she can find something in the private sector they're good at.

Like bank fraud.

Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell and Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!)

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled dollars...

It is almost impossible to comprehend what it is about taxes that makes Democrats feel so warm and fuzzy inside. When you speak to the average American, April 15th is a day of dread. If you're talking to a politician who's a Democrat, however, it's state-sponsored Christmas, replete with visions of extorted money dancing in their heads.

St. Obama of Lightweight (D-Cuba) was on Meet The Press this morning and trying to get a seat with the adults again. He's at his best when he simply smiles and speaks in generalities but every once in a while he tries to break away from the cult of personality that's gotten him this far and say something specific. The first time he tried this he promised a lunch date with all the dictators in the world if he became president. Today he renewed his love affair with the Internal Revenue Service.

The subject: Social Security. The solution: more taxes! (I'm convinced that if you wake a Democratic presidential candidate up from a deep sleep he or she will yell, "It's all George Bush's fault and we need higher taxes to fix it!)

Democrats make themselves feel smart by telling other Democrats that Republicans are stupid. I have to wonder, though, about a group of candidates who are so intellectually limited that they can only find one solution to every complex problem facing this country. True, they don't want to spend money on the war but they've already earmarked every dollar going to fight terrorism for something else, like building windmills in Nebraska to generate enough power for a small night light. Additional night lights will require additional taxes for additional windmills, of course.

Like every other time he's spoken specifically, Sunday's quotes from St. Obama reveal once again that he has about as much substance as cotton candy. "I think the best way to approach this is to adjust the cap on the payroll tax so that people like myself are paying a little bit more," he said regarding Social Security. All of that book learnin' and this is "the best way" to deal with the looming SS nightmare?

Here we arrive at another one of those key differences between Democrats and Republicans that doesn't get discussed enough: Democrats think you are too ignorant to take care of your own money. If you don't believe me, tell one of the presidential candidates that you'd rather be able to invest some of your SS money privately. They'll react as if you just said you wanted to kill their pets. Then they'll accuse you of threatening the legacy of FDR, kidnapping the Lindbergh baby and spiking Lindsay Lohan's drinks. You see, when it comes to Social Security, the liberal and progressive Democrats want to make sure everything stays exactly as it was in 1935.

Never mind that Obama is primarily talking about taxing "the rich" in this one instance. This rabid penalizing of "the rich" that the Democrats are so fond of always trickles down to hurt the middle class and the poor.

Countries from England to Chile to, more recently, Poland have been allowing private investment in their versions of social security with great success. Guess what kids? When the money is managed privately instead of by the government the administrative costs are lower. This is based on a complicated economic model called "The Freakin' Obvious".

Even with safeguards in place, you stand to realize greater returns on your money with private investment than with a completely government controlled Social Security system. The very people who have run this system into the ground economically are trying to tell you that you're still better off letting them handle your money. If you do it it's too "risky" according to them. Imagine a guy who comes by every day at noon, stabs you in the back and then tells you that you need him to protect you. If you won the lottery tomorrow who would you rather have handle the money-Warren Buffet or the House of Representatives? Exactly.

So, Barack, I'll keep my hand on my wallet as long as you're speaking, thank you. Go read this from the National Center for Policy Analysis and find out just how many leaders in other countries have come up with solutions that involve creativity, intelligence and belief in people. For now, your "best way" of handling anything is to shut up, smile and let the press keep fawning over you for no reason whatsoever.

Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell and Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!)

Alternative Minimum Brain Cells

Watch your wallets kids, House Speaker Fancy Nancy Pelosi (D-Delirium) wants to go shopping and guess who she wants to pay for it? Ronald Reagan once said that the scariest words in the English language were "I'm from the government and I'm here to help." I think we should add to that the words "fiscal responsibility" coming out of any Democratic leader's mouth.

The Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT), like Social Security, was set up a long time ago without factoring in inflation, a growing economy or common sense. Again, this is the government helping. It was created to keep a few of the very rich from being able to work the system and avoid paying taxes. Because lawmakers made an "Oops!" on the inflation part, more and more of the middle class is defined as "a few of the very rich." Now Congress has to create a "patch" every year to keep that from happening, sort of like a trauma surgeon shooting you then offering to operate. The government creates a problem (convoluted, extortionist tax code), provides relief for a problem created by the problem (AMT) then provides relief for the problem created by the problem created by the problem (patch). Stop helping already!

This year, Speaker Nannykins and her dancing chimp Steny Hoyer (D-Highway Robbery) are trying to sneak some extra baggage in with the patch. She's trying to get $80 billion in new tax revenues by throwing some hurt on private equity managers as well as real estate and venture-capital investors, to name a few. Grandma Nancy says that this plants "a flag for fiscal responsibility." It's where she wants to shove that flag during said planting that worries me.

Here we go again...the Dems are mad at "The Rich." There is a fundamental breakdown in the wiring of liberals that makes them incapable of understanding that wealth in this country flows from the top down and not the bottom up. There is an inextricable link between "The Rich" and "The Paycheck" that they just don't see. I guess when you've been in Congress too long you just get used to waving a tax wand and "Poof!"-the money you want appears. It's all play money to them and they don't really ever consider where it comes from.

Of course, the problem is rooted in the socialism that has become the primary engine of the post-Viet Nam Democratic Party. In their ideal world, the money would flow from all of us directly to the bloated cow of a federal government that they dream about. The money would then flow from the cow's teats (love that word) and all of "The Rich" could be done away with. Don't try to wrap your heads around the fact that most of the Democrats in Congress are card-carrying members of "The Rich." As I've said before and will say again, irony is a notion that eludes the Left.

Thankfully, President Bush, that lame-duck who keeps spanking the Democratic donkey, has promised that Madame Comrade Speaker won't get away with this. Further indicating that the hysterical Ms. Pelosi is losing her tenuous leadership grip, some Democrats are worried about the long-term effect of sticking it to the targets singled out in this bill.

Only by voting can we help our gal Nan not "help" us.

Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell & Real Clear Politics (Vote for it there!)