The Toast Whisperers

Here's an easy way to know exactly when Gen. David Petraeus is giving his report: you'll see the Democratic leadership running around with their hands over their ears and saying "Blah, blah, blah," over and over again. You see kids, in the modern Democratic party the last thing anyone wants to hear is news of American military success, large or small.

When they were confident that Gen. Petraeus wouldn't have anything good to say about the surge, Democratic leaders were just fine with waiting until his report came out to make decisions about funding. Now that the news will probably be much better than expected they are falling all over themselves to discredit the whatever he says. Dick Durbin, Harry Reid and Madame Speaker have all referred to Petraeus' pending testimony as "The Bush Report" in an effort to discredit it. Clever, isn't it? "We'll just tell everyone that he's only going to say what the president wants him to say." I'm sure there was a lot of "tee-heeing" around the room after this genius approach was thought up. It's the political equivalent of saying "I know you are but what am I?" in a playground fight.

I'm not sure what it is that drives this pathological fear of American success amongst so many people sworn to uphold the Constitution. Maybe mere proximity to Teddy Kennedy has gotten them all too drunk to function. Maybe they think they're supposed to uphold the Cuban constitution. I don't get it.

The Nancy & Harry Circus of American Failure possesses the inability to understand that military personnel don't conduct themselves the same way politicians do. In fact, none of us conduct ourselves that way but they keep projecting their motives onto us. It's inconceivable to Granny Nancy the the General would be more worried about the lives of his troops than his reputation with the public because that's how she rolls.

There's also the chance that having a Speaker of the House from the Bay Area may have introduced psychedelic drugs into the legislative process. That's about the only thing I've come up with so far that explains Harry Reid's comments or Chuck Schumer's popularity with anyone who is awake. I'm not going to reveal any firsthand experience here but let's just say that there are drugs out there that can make you think you're saving the world when all you are really doing is forgetting to go to the bathroom.

Let them whisper and spin, it's about all they have going for them. Besides, the American people are now doing the one thing this group of Dems most fears: paying attention.