Main Stream Morons To The Rescue

Yesterday must have been a tough one for the various Op-Ed  Demo pimps in the MSM. Their very reasons for breathing, the Democratic-um-leadership, were going at each other like a dysfunctional family after the Thanksgiving booze had all been drunk. At the end of the bickering their matriarch, Grandma Nancy "Che" Pelosi (D-Valium Please), had a little meltdown in front of the cameras. Newspaper editorial staffs all over were left to cry "I hate it when you guys fight!" and "I get scared when grandma acts so weird." As with most dysfunctional families, when it was all over it was left to the little bed-wetters to hold the family together. 

The first little journalistic gremlin to come out and defend the Nitwit clan was WAPO's E.J. Dionne. He writes in today's paper that The Nancy & Harry Traveling Circus of Socialist Stupidity needs a "Plan B". Since Dionne is a lefty I naturally thought he was talking about the "morning after pill" when he mentioned "Plan B" and hoped he was going to suggest that they abort their inane efforts. No such luck.

Dionne should have called it a "Plan BB" because all he suggests is that the Democrats blame Bush. I know that this kind of thinking is often called "Bush Derangement Syndrome" but I hesitate to use that in the case of Dionne because that implies the existence of a brain to be deranged in the first place. His piece is so devoid of critical thinking that I thought it might be the product of one of those experiments where they put a chimp in front of a keyboard and see what he pounds out. 

Dionne seems to be suggesting that the Republicans are stonewalling Grandma Nan and Harry the Libnut solely for the joy of being obstructionists. As with most liberals' arguments, his logic disintegrates at the beginning because he proceeds from false premises. He claims that the Democrats have the high ground on the S-CHIP debate while lying about what the new version really does. Never once does he discuss why Republicans are really opposed to it, he simply trots out the brain dead liberal for the children idiocy. 

To be an American liberal means never having to say "It's my fault," when things aren't going well. It's an entire political philosophy built on abandoning personal responsibility. Pelosi and Reid aren't the first American congressional leaders who have had to work with slim majorities and an opposite party president. The reason that they aren't accomplishing anything is that they came to power under convoluted circumstances. The Republicans didn't lose last year because the Democrats were steamrolling, they lost because serious GOP voters had grown weary of the spending and lack of vision and stayed home. The Democrats emerged thinking that they had a mandate when what they actually had was a fluke. 

Now instead of governing with vision, they whine. When they're tired of whining, they let the MSM monkeys whine for them. Lets have a round of tissues for the distressed little dears in congress and the media. 

Buck up, little Demos, Christmas is almost here. Maybe Santa will bring you some shiny new excuses to use for next year.

Cross posted at Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!)

Down In Dem Dumps

By this point Nancy Pelosi (D-Zero Accomplishments) probably wishes she'd spent the year at home watching the weekly fur-thong/bestiality parades in San Francisco. She finishes the year having accomplished nothing more than providing 1-800-FLOWERS greater access to the Speaker of the House of Representatives. 

Today, Grandma Nan is taking it from more angles than a double-jointed porn star. USA Today, normally a reliable sycophantic lap bitch for the Democrats, goes off on their ineffective ways on its Opinion page. The article says that the Democrats are "lost in a time warp". True, they do seem to be acting like it's 1968 when it comes to the war. Maybe they can't get anything done because they're busy looking for their weed. 

On the bright side for Madame Speaker, the article does engage in some knee-jerk Bush bashing like any good post-Soviet Pravda rip-off should. 

Today's Washington Post offers up a little peek at the tiff brewing between House and Senate Democrats. Finally! The Democrats agree that the Democrats are doing a lousy job. Any Democrats in either chamber who continue to exhibit flashes of clarity may want to contact their physicians. 

Speaking of time warps, the MSM loves to work from a calendar that is perpetually six months behind, doesn't it? The USA Today article finally takes Harry Reid (D-Yippee, We're Losing!) to task for constantly ignoring any good news out of Iraq. Bloggers on the right have been verbally smacking the Waste of Space from Nevada around on that subject for a while now. 

However belated it may be, it is nice to see some of the MSM taking notice that the current Democratic leadership can't govern and chew gum at the same time. For the sake of the country, let's hope they concentrate on the gum chewing.

Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell and Real Clear Politics

Pelosi's Not-So-T.G.I.F.

Hot on the heels of a Gallup poll that says Republicans enjoy better mental health than Democrats comes the news that Rep. John Murtha (D-Occasionally Seditious) has said something remarkably sensible. Add in the rain here in southern California (more proof of global warming, no doubt) and we've got quite a wacky start to the weekend.  

I don't know whether Speaker Pelosi (D-Low Approval) is still in Washington or home for the holidays already. I do know, however, that there's a good chance she began drinking heavily as soon as her screams subsided upon hearing Murtha say "I think the surge is working." 

Face it, the one thing that Democrats don't want under their "Holiday Trees" this year is news from Iraq that victory and peace are possible. Look for various nutroot groups to start pressuring Nancy Pants to censure Murtha for his remarks. 

Within hours, Murtha moved to offset his honesty and candor with a statement of carefully prepared backtracking so loaded with b.s. head cold sufferers across America could smell it. 

Murtha contorts himself so much through various quotes that you almost forget he's fat. 

"...the surge is working for a couple of different reasons. And one reason is the increase in troops." 

So...sending more troops in is working because we sent more troops in, right?

"One of the reasons Alex Rodriguez's home run totals are so high is that he hits a lot of home runs."

Yes, these are the people that you're letting spend your money. If your neighbor said something that stupid you wouldn't let him borrow your weed whacker.

Murtha goes on to say that the war "can't be won militarily." So, John, it works better when there's more military there but we can't win it with the military? The alternative to winning a war militarily is..."Rock, Paper, Scissors"? "Tag"? "Gin Rummy"? Help me, Congressman.

Full disclosure: I am not one of the Republicans who enjoys greater mental health than the average Democrat (ask my mom) and I still wouldn't vote for a blithering basket case like Murtha.  

Those of you who keep doing so should probably read up on the harmful side effects of sniffing glue.

Alternative Minimum Brain Cells

Watch your wallets kids, House Speaker Fancy Nancy Pelosi (D-Delirium) wants to go shopping and guess who she wants to pay for it? Ronald Reagan once said that the scariest words in the English language were "I'm from the government and I'm here to help." I think we should add to that the words "fiscal responsibility" coming out of any Democratic leader's mouth.

The Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT), like Social Security, was set up a long time ago without factoring in inflation, a growing economy or common sense. Again, this is the government helping. It was created to keep a few of the very rich from being able to work the system and avoid paying taxes. Because lawmakers made an "Oops!" on the inflation part, more and more of the middle class is defined as "a few of the very rich." Now Congress has to create a "patch" every year to keep that from happening, sort of like a trauma surgeon shooting you then offering to operate. The government creates a problem (convoluted, extortionist tax code), provides relief for a problem created by the problem (AMT) then provides relief for the problem created by the problem created by the problem (patch). Stop helping already!

This year, Speaker Nannykins and her dancing chimp Steny Hoyer (D-Highway Robbery) are trying to sneak some extra baggage in with the patch. She's trying to get $80 billion in new tax revenues by throwing some hurt on private equity managers as well as real estate and venture-capital investors, to name a few. Grandma Nancy says that this plants "a flag for fiscal responsibility." It's where she wants to shove that flag during said planting that worries me.

Here we go again...the Dems are mad at "The Rich." There is a fundamental breakdown in the wiring of liberals that makes them incapable of understanding that wealth in this country flows from the top down and not the bottom up. There is an inextricable link between "The Rich" and "The Paycheck" that they just don't see. I guess when you've been in Congress too long you just get used to waving a tax wand and "Poof!"-the money you want appears. It's all play money to them and they don't really ever consider where it comes from.

Of course, the problem is rooted in the socialism that has become the primary engine of the post-Viet Nam Democratic Party. In their ideal world, the money would flow from all of us directly to the bloated cow of a federal government that they dream about. The money would then flow from the cow's teats (love that word) and all of "The Rich" could be done away with. Don't try to wrap your heads around the fact that most of the Democrats in Congress are card-carrying members of "The Rich." As I've said before and will say again, irony is a notion that eludes the Left.

Thankfully, President Bush, that lame-duck who keeps spanking the Democratic donkey, has promised that Madame Comrade Speaker won't get away with this. Further indicating that the hysterical Ms. Pelosi is losing her tenuous leadership grip, some Democrats are worried about the long-term effect of sticking it to the targets singled out in this bill.

Only by voting can we help our gal Nan not "help" us.

Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell & Real Clear Politics (Vote for it there!)

Dancing With The Idiots

It's time to vote House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Hot Flash) off this show. The hysterical Madame Speaker's tenure in office has been marked mostly by her feverish determination to keep congressional approval ratings lower than those of President Bush's anemic numbers. Brava, Nancy Pants, you've succeeded at something during your historic speakership!

Now she wants to get her Viet Nam on and start playing politics with the war. OK, she's always wanted to play politics with it but was too busy brainstorming with Harry Reid (D-Pyongyang) on different ways to say "We hate George W. Bush," which is the only item on the Democratic platform for 2008. Having summarily blamed President Bush for keeping all doctors away from the children (S-CHIP), the California wildfires and the cellulite on Britney Spears constantly displayed bare butt, Fancy Nancy finally has time to lose a war.

"This war is the biggest ethical issue we're facing in our country. ... This is not working. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. We must reverse it," quoth Madame Speaker. Actually, the biggest ethical issue we face in our country is what do with Democratic leaders who can't open their mouths without lying to the American people about the war and global warming.

We're back to the problem about whose assessment we believe about the progress. Grandma Nancy says it's not working. General Petraeus says it is. To him, it's a war; to her, it's a game she has to look good playing when visiting her Bay Area homegirls.

Rather than approve the $196 billion that President Bush asked for to fund the war, Nanny Boo-Boo has threatened to only give about a quarter of that, which would only last about four months. This is true to form. One thing Ms. Pelosi has proven is that she is completely incapable of long-term vision. Poll driven people can't be like that as it requires thoughtful consideration rather than maniacal overreaction.

I really don't have any problem with the fact that Nancy's a woman. I have a problem with John Edwards being a woman, not Nancy Pelosi. What bothers me is that she's a shrill, grandstanding pure politician who is more interested in a photo op than a realistic approach to dealing with a rapidly changing world. She's Harry Reid in a skirt. Or he's Nancy Pelosi with a prostate. Or they're both shape-shifters from the planet Soros.

All I know is that they've had their run on Dancing with the Idiots and it's time to vote them off the show and away from the sharp objects (i.e. the budget pens). Let's do it now.

For the children.

Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell

Fight Faux Fairness!

Like an STD in Bill Clinton's medical records, the "Fairness Doctrine" is waiting to make a comeback and wreak havoc with the lives of people who weren't paying close attention. Instituted in 1949, it purported to give both sides of controversial issues air time. That worked about as well as a Lindsey Lohan trip to rehab. What ensued were about 30 years of left-wing domination of the media. Thankfully, Ronald Reagan got rid of this socialist abomination in the 1980s and that paved the way for the rise of conservative talk radio. Irony of ironies: things actually became fair once the Fairness Doctrine was gone. Republicans got to have talk radio and Democrats got to have the networks, the universities, public schools, Hollywood and Chicago. OK, that does seem like there's still a bit of imbalance but-hey-at least we finally got something.

The Left seemed to tolerate the rise of talk radio until Fox News came along. Now the Republicans could be seen on TV as well! "Oh my (insert non-denominational entity here)! Now the children will be able to see that the right-wing whackos don't really have horns and fangs-we've got to do something!" When they found out all of us mindless talk radio morons could turn on our computers as well the playground whining ("Hey-no fair!") to reinstate the Fairness Doctrine began in earnest.

They can't do anything about it just yet. However, if the other Mr. Clinton gets elected next year all bets are off. Hillary has already proven that she'll go on the paper like a good dog whenever The DailyKos or MoveOn.org tell her to. She'll be on a real short leash with them if elected and an executive order to reinstate the Fairness Doctrine will probably show up before her luggage gets to the White House.

Here's what it really does. If someone complains to a station that carries Rush Limbaugh that station has to put a liberal talk show on if they want to keep Rush on the air. The Air America people finally get to leave the void they've been living in and get on a big people's radio station! They might even bring their listener along. You can see the sound business sense of balancing a profit making machine like Rush with three hours a day of Skippy the Chimp from Air America discussing new ways to lose wars and raise taxes, can't you? Larger stations will figure out a way to make it work, smaller ones will have to get rid of Rush and do a call-in show about scrapbooking.

To clear it up, let's imagine this lunacy being applied in other areas.

The NFL would have to provide teams an equal amount of playing time during the games if one team was too good.

Everyone gets into Harvard now! It's just not fair to limit it to the smart kids.

If you're a bit of a loner and can't get a date, the government has to provide you with one for every time your good looking roommate goes out. It may sound good at first but the government doesn't require the date to like you. She'll leave eventually and, like Air America, you're still a loser who can't get anyone to pay attention to you on your own.

Something needs to be done while we still have a Republican in the White House. Enter Rep. Mike Pence (R-IN) and "The Broadcaster Freedom Act." This act would prohibit the FCC from reinstating the Fairness Doctrine. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Asylum) has blocked the bill. Rep. Pence is trying to get the 218 signatures needed to bring the bill directly to the floor for a vote. There is more information about the petition here. This site says he has 185 signatures but I heard him say on Laura Ingraham's show this morning that it's up to 190 now. There are also links there to find out if your representative has signed or not and to contact the ones who haven't.

Despite what Democrats like to believe, Republicans enjoy First Amendment rights too. Let's fight for them now or we're all going to end up in some underground chat room, lamenting the fact that our favorite talk station now just airs stories about what Britney Spears isn't wearing that day.

Cross posted at The Grizzly Groundswell

The Toast Whisperers

Here's an easy way to know exactly when Gen. David Petraeus is giving his report: you'll see the Democratic leadership running around with their hands over their ears and saying "Blah, blah, blah," over and over again. You see kids, in the modern Democratic party the last thing anyone wants to hear is news of American military success, large or small.

When they were confident that Gen. Petraeus wouldn't have anything good to say about the surge, Democratic leaders were just fine with waiting until his report came out to make decisions about funding. Now that the news will probably be much better than expected they are falling all over themselves to discredit the whatever he says. Dick Durbin, Harry Reid and Madame Speaker have all referred to Petraeus' pending testimony as "The Bush Report" in an effort to discredit it. Clever, isn't it? "We'll just tell everyone that he's only going to say what the president wants him to say." I'm sure there was a lot of "tee-heeing" around the room after this genius approach was thought up. It's the political equivalent of saying "I know you are but what am I?" in a playground fight.

I'm not sure what it is that drives this pathological fear of American success amongst so many people sworn to uphold the Constitution. Maybe mere proximity to Teddy Kennedy has gotten them all too drunk to function. Maybe they think they're supposed to uphold the Cuban constitution. I don't get it.

The Nancy & Harry Circus of American Failure possesses the inability to understand that military personnel don't conduct themselves the same way politicians do. In fact, none of us conduct ourselves that way but they keep projecting their motives onto us. It's inconceivable to Granny Nancy the the General would be more worried about the lives of his troops than his reputation with the public because that's how she rolls.

There's also the chance that having a Speaker of the House from the Bay Area may have introduced psychedelic drugs into the legislative process. That's about the only thing I've come up with so far that explains Harry Reid's comments or Chuck Schumer's popularity with anyone who is awake. I'm not going to reveal any firsthand experience here but let's just say that there are drugs out there that can make you think you're saving the world when all you are really doing is forgetting to go to the bathroom.

Let them whisper and spin, it's about all they have going for them. Besides, the American people are now doing the one thing this group of Dems most fears: paying attention.