Stephen Kruiser: The Mouth Of America

Sunday, December 16, 2007

News I Can Use


Weary of the Republican party Hucking up its chances next year, I spent the day doing fun Christmas stuff with my kid. I had hoped that by avoiding the news all day I could come back and find that the Huckabee/Romney nightmare I've been having would be gone. Alas, I waited until after midnight to check anything out but the two are still hanging around like STDs at a Tijuana whorehouse, which, coincidentally, is where Bill Clinton is scheduled to appear first if his life partner becomes president.

After whipping through my usual news sites I had one thought: if Huckabee wins those damn caucuses we should seriously think about trading Iowa to the Canadians for some beer. People shouldn't be allowed to have a significant say in choosing the leader of the free world when they're frozen, pissed off and drinking all day to combat Seasonal Affective Disorder. 

Rather than subject myself to any more Huckobamaney fawning from the breathless American media I decided to see what our closest allies across the pond were writing about. I was rewarded almost immediately for my efforts with this headline from the BBC News site:


No, it's not about a Hillary Clinton joke that's being forwarded in emails.

It's just a lot nicer to think about than the title "President" in front of the names Clinton or Obama.