Stephen Kruiser: The Mouth Of America

Friday, November 23, 2007

"As long as we don't have to live with them..."


Behold the modern Democratic party: among its elder statesman are a guy who let his mistress drown while saving himself and a former high ranking member of the Ku Klux Klan. The party continues its codependent love affair with its most popular recent president, who is also a chronic sexual predator. Howard Dean proved himself to be too psychotic to be the party's nominee in 2004 but they rewarded him with the chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee. Oh, the current front runner for the 2008 Democratic ticket, who also happens to be the chief enabler of the aforementioned sexual predator, has received the endorsement of OJ Simpson.

All in all, it's quite a party, don't you think?

Now we have some new evidence that the party whose very existence depends on frightening voters with class warfare rhetoric is, in fact, the party of the rich.

A new study has found that congressional Democrats represent the majority of the nation's wealthiest districts. It would also appear that there is a close correlation between the number of wealthy households in a district and the likelihood of a Democrat being elected there.

The Democrats often blather on about "two Americas" when campaigning. What they don't mention is that they discovered the disparity when they accidentally peeked out the limo window and saw some of their kitchen staff getting on a bus one day.

"If elected, I promise to fight for the poor and disenfranchised, just as soon as they bring me some foie gras and brandy!"

This explains so much about the current Democratic mindset.

First, their fervor for giving driver's licenses to illegal aliens may just be a money-saving move that enables them to avoid paying fair market wages to a chauffeur. "Flavio is simply doing the driving that my American chauffeur didn't want to do."

It also clears up why the alleged anti-war party has been waging war on the American taxpayer for decades. It's easy to keep up a financial assault on the middle class if you don't have to actually interact with any middle class Americans. "I know all about the plight of the middle class and I'm going to vote myself a taxpayer funded raise so I can form a committee to study the problem and decide what to do about it. First, I have to fire the landscaping staff for the shoddy job they did on the azaleas around the gazebo at my summer home."

The amazing thing is that Democratic candidates keep straight faces when spewing their class warfare crap. John "Fluffy" Edwards (D-Chasing Ambulances) has built his entire campaign around fighting for the poor. When did he amp up this rhetoric? After he was caught paying $400 for a haircut. Edwards probably knows as much about "the poor" as a Cuban kid knows about the "freedom to emigrate".

Edwards' partner on the 2004 ticket, John Kerry, went on and on about the hard working, "shrinking" middle class in his acceptance speech. The only workable plan for helping the middle class that Kerry ever put forth involved conning rich women into marrying him. He is no more likely to feel the financial pain of the middle class than he is to feel the pain of menstrual cramps.

Lastly, this news helps inform us as to why this progressive Democratic party fights so hard to regress to its 20th century roots on everything from politically dooming our soldiers like they did in Viet Nam to making sure Social Security remains as it was in the 1930's. They seek to go back to a time when, however misguided, their actions were more in tune with their ideals. It must be difficult reconciling being a party of privilege with pretending to bond with the common man.

"Of course I understand the struggles of common Americans. Just last week I had to yell at my maid for bringing me the wrong gold watch. It was the third time she's done it this year. If she does it again I've threatened to send her on a date with Teddy Kennedy and Bill Clinton at the same time. You can stop the foot massage now, Raul."

I don't need politicians who want to feel my pain, I just want them to stop causing it.

Cross posted at Real Clear Politics (Vote for it!)