My, my...what a difference a fortnight makes. Prior to Halloween, Madame Fright had a seemingly untouchable lead over her rival Democrats. The whole thing had become so laughable that they were still letting Dennis Kucinich (D-Nowhere) hang around to play chimp to Hillary's organ grinder.
By now we all know what happened in the Philadelphia debate: Mrs. "Definition of 'Is', Is" attempted to give a straight answer without consulting the polls first. That was dangerous territory for a woman who calls Rasmussen before scheduling her first bowel movement each day. Her decision making process consists largely of sticking her finger in the air to check the prevailing winds. (If elected, she'll be sticking that finger elsewhere to see if you have any money left that the IRS hasn't found yet.)
We also know that the missus doesn't possess any of her-um-husband's folksy charm. Heck, she doesn't possess any of Dan Rather's charm. Whenever Hillary Clinton smiles and attempts sincerity I have flashbacks to every Charles Manson interview I've ever seen. Manson has the slightly more feminine hair, of course.
What happened after the debate is the one thing I'll admit I never saw coming: Hillary Clinton started acting chicky. Yeah, I thought the pant suits were hiding the same thing you did.
Today's incident involving the Madame can't even be called a flip-flop. The phrase "brain fart" entered the vernacular several years ago and Hillary Clinton just became its poster girl. After leading an extraordinarily charmed political life for seven years, Mrs. C. just spent fifteen days with a rabid pack of dogs leaving something for her to step in no matter where she turned.
It all began, of course, with her ladyship doing her best impersonation of someone who had just sustained severe head trauma when asked about NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer's (D-Clueless) "Break The Law-Get Extra Privileges" plan. Mike Tyson sounded more sensible when he still had Evander Holyfield's ear in his mouth. She even tried to resort to the standard Democrat battle cry of "It's all George Bush's fault!" and that didn't work for her. Quickly spotting a wounded idiot, her rivals pounced.
Up until this point, the Mrs. Clinton campaign had been a model of locked-down, KGB-like, ruthless efficiency. One expected it to shoo her opponents back to the lightweight division where they belonged. The campaign's response to the debate hiccup was stunning. It can best be summed up like this: "Mommy, the boys are being mean to me!" It wasn't her fault for wilting under a miniscule amount of pressure, it was Tim Russert's for asking tough questions. Or Barack Obama's for smelling blood. Or John Edwards for choosing a more flattering shade of lip gloss than she.
After that, it got weirder than reading a Thomas Pynchon novel while 'shrooming. Mrs. Clinton sent Mr. Clinton out to defend her honor. The reasons for this being remarkable are twofold. First, it was basically an admission by her camp that she was willing to bring Willy the Zipper in at the first sign of trouble. Years of establishing her own identity had suddenly become Monica Lewinsky's blue dress: yes, you could wash the stain out but everyone is going to remember it was there. Second, bringing Bill Clinton in for a dash of chivalry and damage control is not unlike calling in OJ Simpson for conflict resolution.
Oh, for the record, the aspiring First Husband's response to the problem was, "The boys are being mean to her."
Next, the Woman Who Would Be Queen was caught planting softball questions in her audience. Why? Because the best thing to do when people accuse you of being a controlling bitch is to prove it, I guess. And probably to prevent the boys from being mean to you.
And now, after yielding to pressure from every sane person in America, Gov. Spitzer has decided that only the law abiding citizens of New York should have driver's licenses. Many are saying that the future Madame President pressured noble Comrade Spitzer into doing this. If so, it really didn't help because her response made her look like the concussion hasn't worn off yet. She supported Spitzer when he was for the licensing. Now she says, ""I support Governor Spitzer's decision today..." when decides to drop the plan. He must be the one boy who hasn't ever been mean to her.
Immigration is an issue that looms large in the next presidential election. Her first attempt at staking out a position on it left her looking like Keith Richards giving a lecture on calculus. One would hope that the smartest woman in the history of the known universe (according to Democrats, anyway) would be able to formulate a thought of her own in a debate this important. From what we've seen so far, her position seems to be pointing at Eliot Spitzer and whining, "What he said!"
If she's elected president she will have to make up her own mind during times of crisis.
And the boys will be a lot meaner.
Cross posted at Real Clear Politics (Vote for it, people!) and Grizzly Groundswell
|