Senator Ted Kennedy (D-Cirrhosis) has just signed a book deal to write an in-depth exploration of chronic alcohol abuse and memory loss which he will no doubt refer to as an "autobiography". The senior senator from Massachusetts is best known for having been in the middle of a blackout for approximately 98% of his time in the senate. He is currently the second longest serving U.S. Senator, eclipsed only by West Virginia's Robert Byrd (D-KKK).
The deal is rumored to be a substantial sum for a political memoir. A large portion of the money is expected to help lure a veteran collaborator who can find enough variations on "Woke up, grabbed some scotch, tried to screw up the country..." to make a full length book.
Throughout his decades of public drunkenness service, Kennedy has often been controversial and sometimes thought-provoking. The thought most often provoked is "What in the hell are the people of Massachusetts thinking?" He was a key figure in the attempted lynching confirmation of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. Kennedy was opposed on the grounds that even alleged sexual harassment was considered to be a senatorial perk and not to be practiced by anyone else.
When not dozing off during committee hearings, Kennedy likes to occasionally move his head from side-to-side, leave his recliner for trips to the wet bar and drive off bridges.
Cross posted at Grizzly Groundswell
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